Fortunately, the occasional rodent is the biggest problem here. Nobody has to “rassle” alligators, escaped pythons or vacuum salesmen in this neighborbood. This guy is dragging alligators around for a living in Ft. Lauderdale. I kept expecting that tail to come around and knock him silly, but pinning the alligator in this fashion seems to put them in a stupor. If you are looking for action and thrills, alligator wrestling is nothing of the kind. It is slow moving and the animal has a brain the size of a pecan. The alligator, I mean. Same for the stupor.There are certain things we never run out of around here. I said that before the car broke down and everything was closed the following day. For the second time in ten years, we have run out of coffee. Actually, the second time in three months. Two cannot live as cheaply as one because I’ve been buying it in double amounts.
I won’t fill in the blanks, but let me serve official notice. When I play music, I have to move $3,500 worth of equipment and it weights 220 pounds. I have to load it on the car, set it up, test it, play, load it back on the car, return it to home base and set it up again. If you lack the fundamental intelligence to assimilate these simple facts, I don’t want to hear about your friend who just grabs his guitar and plays. Really, even if it is true, I don’t want to hear it.
Let me expand on that. With one or two exceptions, every guitar player I ever met was a lazy dope-head. A band involves countless hours of chasing around, prep work, computers, repairs and supplies. The guitar player wants you to do the leg work and all he does is show up at the gig and get an equal share of the gravy. Does that sound like anybody you know? That is why he is over 40, sits around in his living room running off at the mouth, his wife and kids hate him and both his buddies have heard his stories 50 times each. That’s the brand of musician you meet on Craigslist.
Obviously something happened, but I won’t go into it. I’ll repeat some items, though. We all know nothing is too difficult for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself. I’ve noticed something else. That man is always all talk. Never any here and now, never a single shred of proof that all those fantastic things he did in the past are true. My advice is that if you don’t have anything to show for your entire life except intangibles, it is time to stop bragging about it. So don’t come by telling me about the bands you’ve played in or the big work you’ve done unless I can drop by this week and see for myself. I don’t want to hear about it, I want to see it. Another thing to all you “self-employed” people. I don’t care how much you used to charge per hour, I’ve made three times as much money as you in my life. That’s what really counts. Period.
Christmas shopping is in evidence already. I’ve got my present picked out. A table saw. I don’t know how to use one but I’ll learn. Always wanted one. How many times I’ve not begun a project because I am no good with a hand saw. That might horrify a carpenter who believes if you can’t do it by hand, you won’t be any good on a power tool. That is pure old-fogie bunk. If they want to live before the industrial revolution, let them do it in silence.
My first project is a box for my new lighting system. It is rugged, which is good because it was the first thing I kicked over last night. It survived. That is a classic example of a needed box I would never build with a hand saw. I’m looking at a dandy $99 Ryobi but it seems I remember a smaller model that fit on a countertop. Either way, if business is good, I’m looking at a table saw.
