You know, when the people that bought me out offered me $1,250 less than I wanted, I did go down to City Hall and fill out a form stating the premises was an historical artifact. I declared it was the correct age, size, and a bunch of other factors to qualify for heritage status. I wonder?Today also means I had some extra study time, for important subjects like how did they make an egg the exact right size for a sandwich? That is philosophy, which I’ll get to in a moment. I wonder. I wonder what those people who should have paid me the extra $1,250 are thinking now that it is costing them a fortune. Now, back to the sandwich.
One of my former students has returned to college. The calls for help remind me that not much has changed in the education trade. She’s got one professor who makes assignments that are completely out of touch with new students’ capabilities. I had several philosophy teachers like that, jerkwads every one of them. I’ve got the time to explain why I’m not being unreasonable about that, so here goes.
When I pay good money for a college course, there are certain non-negotiables included in that price. One is that all the material advertised will be covered in the lecture or assigned reading parts of the course. That means that there will be no questions on the exam that were not in the course material, period. Another parameter is that the mark the student gets must be totally dependent on his intelligence and how hard he studies. That means no grade is given for any other factor whatsoever.
You won’t believe how screwed up some professors get on those points, and my former student has got a teacher who is a complete ass. Some of the assignments entail dozens of hours of study of subject material from other disciplines, that is, material not provided in the course. For example, “Establish a blog that your students can link to” as instruction 1 of a 15-part first question. This is an utterly impossible task for somebody who has little computer experience.
The instructor had the attitude the class were his captives. Assigning 30 hours of reading per week, as if none of us had major courses. But the worst was asking questions that could only be answered if you “made friends” with his instructional assistants. Those two bastards would purposely only be available at odd hours in the swimming pool cafeteria at the other end of campus. One of them was the most obnoxious gimptards you could ever meet, Bob Rossiki. Whatever that is short for. Bob was pushing 29 and had not yet achieved a Bachelor’s in Physical Education.
He’d be sitting there in his shoulder pads and smelling like old socks. He’d help the pretty girls first and was a total prick about it. Then, when your turn came, he’d motion you over like he was Buddha. His first question was always something like, “Do you respect the women on campus like they were your own sisters?” You had to spend most of each session with that bullsh before he’d tell you the answer to the assigned question.
The professor knew perfectly well this was going on, but said he was preparing us for the real world. Listen Dad, most of us don’t require lessons on how to hate stupid people. Eventually, I figured out most of Bob’s mental problem was that for a phys ed major who was supposed to be in good shape, he actually did look an awful, awful lot like Buddha. Seven years later, Bob was arrested (but not convicted) for indecent exposure on Prince’s Island, a river park in Calgary, up in Alberta. See picture.
D-Day plus 55. If Normandy had been in Japan, they would be teaching that this is the day the Allies launched an unprovoked attack upon the local civilian population.
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