Meet Ruby. The parrot who thinks a fax handshake is a mating call. Kind of like Lester over in shipping and handling. Especially handling. As with most birds and women once you marry, she goes dead limp and silent when she should be participating. Ruby knows to say “bye” as anyone leaves the room, which I found significant. This picture has been enhanced to show the true color of Ruby’s plumage.
I believe the new printer here will be a Canon. During further tests this morning, I determined that my client’s unit was defective in that the fax function would not draw dial tone. The Canon tech support tested the same and the next incident came as a surprise. Without the supreme nonsense of Sony or Brother, Canon shipped out a replacement unit at their own expense. That is almost unbelievable considering the degeneration of customer service in America. Canon offered the option of a repair or a replacement, this being Florida, I chose the replacement. That is superb service, Canon.
I may further add that I am an old hand at such testing and know when I’ve got a real technician on the other end of the line. The Canon tech zeroed in precisely on the problem with no wasted moves. Best of all, Canon tech support did not have some bubble head answer the phone and give me the third degree or try to do the census on me. I reached a real English-speaking professional within two minutes of picking up the phone. Are you listening, Hewlett Packard? I didn’t think so.
Dave-O may want [to buy] Enrique’s place. I see Dave-O pulled up again while I was on the service call. He’ll probably arrive tomorrow while I’m at my sewing class. I’ve pretty much decided on the wisdom of having two extra hours of instruction to learn specifically how to do cuffs. There has got to be some English saying to the effect cuffs make the man. Any country with an economic system regressing to wool farming and dull poetry wouldn’t miss that one.
Here I am, reading about sailing again. This time it is the weird book of the 70s. The author was a bond trader who ditched everything to go sailing. Back then they still made wives who went along with such things for the sake of the relationship and the marriage. The title, “Fair Winds and Far Places” initially put me off, as in reality, it took rich parents to be a hippie. Everybody else had to cut their hair eventually go to work.
As it turns out, the author, Zane Mann, has a lot to say and a keen way of putting it. He is very aware he comes across as a cheeky “if I can do it, anybody can”, but goes on to explain rather believably that he was never part of the corporate culture that supplied him the assets to leave them behind. I kept reading, as it has parallels to my own life, where I worked just long enough to not have to work. If you can’t work to get ahead, why work at all?
The book describes what I myself might have done if I’d made millions instead of mere thousands. In a manner of thinking, since I can’t any longer sail or drive, maybe I am doing the same thing on a limited scale. You know, I’ll do a little deep thinking on this subject. He’s got a sailboat and a harbor; I’ve got a scooter and a trailer court. Let’s see what else he has to say.
Last for today, let me tell you about the social issues of troubleshooting a fax machine in Florida. I do believe it was only my exposure to my family that allowed me to get through the process without walking out. You see, to test a fax machine, you need to know somebody with another fax machine. For me, that is no trouble, but for others, it becomes an insurmountable morning-long challenge. Don’t go thinking you just call up somebody in Florida and ask for the favor. It don’t work like that.
I recall the time I tried to get my brother to send me a fax. This is how my half of the conversation went. Try to imagine the responses I got that produced these questions:
“Do you have a fax machine?”
“Does it work?”
“Is it nearby where you are?”
“Is the fax machine hooked up?”
“Do you know how to send a fax?”
“Do you have the fax number?”
“Is the fax on this phone line or a separate phone line?”
The conversation produced those questions, but also these follow-on sentences, so again use your imagination.
“I meant a fax machine that you could use, not just whether you owned one.”
“Well, could you go out to the garage and get it?”
“It’s okay if it has no ink, you’ll only be sending a fax. No, I’m not joking.”
“You will have to plug it in to use it, you know. It won’t work otherwise.”
“Wait for dial tone and dial the fax number.”
“No, no, this fax number, not your fax number.”
“Then you’ll have to hang up before you send the fax.”
That’s the point where I lost him. Once he hung up, he was lost and without phone service for two days till I drove over there. He accused me of lying to him because I didn’t tell him he’d have to plug his phone back in when the fax was done. Thinking fast, something not hard to do around my brother, I was able to shut him up by telling him I really did try to call him back but his phone was out of service. Could be he is still working on that one.
And that, folks, is why it took 3-1/2 hours today to test a Florida fax machine.
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