The speed (4ppm) is amazing considering the print is sideways. But since it is a photoprinter, the output is top quality, it looks typeset and I ought to know. Make no mistake about it, this changes quite a few options for me. I’ve waited years for such a device and I had seriously considered hiring a vanity printer ($1,800). I have countless books stored away because I could not afford to print them in small batches. I’ve even translated Chinese instruction manuals.Even more strange is that I bought this Canon on sale for $30. Do not underestimate this event. All the hard work has already been done. If there are other ways to print this and I suddenly find them now, I don’t care because they were not there when I needed them. I first tackled this booklet problem in 1984 (so don’t assume you know the details and have an easy answer).
One of my first publications will be [a book on] how to surf the net anonymously. I already know it will be twenty-four pages, but now where did I file it? It details the easy ways to establish untraceable emails, spoof your IP address, and most importantly how to defeat those nosey verification processes where that over-insistent third party has no legal right to your personal information. Did you get that, Miami Herald lottery number site?
My other expected good news is delayed, so I’m settling in for a weekend of diodes and antennas. But rainy weekends are long, so I’m back to my old habit of cooking up enough food to fill the freezer, and I’m again looking at a cooking course. Most recipes I can follow, now I’d like to add some finishing touches. I’ve probably read fifty cookbooks in my life, many with chapters covering these skills but it doesn’t seem to stay with me very long. (For the record, I have not consumed whole milk for one year today, doctor’s orders. I have completely adapted to the taste of powdered.)
Dismay. That word makes the rounds every time I try to get any research done at the downtown Hollywood Library. Rack after rack of books that have never been touched on bleeding heart subjects like how to raise behaviorally deranged children and reams of self-help publications, but not one edition on antenna theory. Tons of books on pregnancy diets and weight loss. Their measly 100 computer books are at least a generation out of date, but the fiction and large print aisles have bestsellers. The sad point is nobody ever reads those books. I often take a chair in that section because it is always empty and quiet.
I saw a band on TV. “Neon Tree”. They have a real bass player. I didn’t care for his extended single note runs, but at least he used a real pick. None of that awkward Kumbaya draping limp-wrist “I took clone lessons” Mr. Cool bullsh. “How Long Till Your Surrender” was the tune, a few interesting riffs but inherently so repetitious it gets boring by verse three. It’s just not that often one sees a real bass player in action.
The morning rain cancelled all plans, but if I had been ready I could have written another book by noon. They say books aren’t so much written as re-written. I don’t know. I’ve seen the rat’s nest of corrections and edits done on manuscripts and heard the complaints from authors about deletions. My process is considerably simpler (more simple). I tend to plan the entire book in my head while walking, then outline it rapidly on the computer rather than paper. (Paper is far too slow and I think better at a keyboard.)
At that point I crank out the entire book in a day or two, several chapters at a time. Then I proofread once, watching for phrase repetition, unbalanced sentences, pronoun conflicts, and clichés. One more read to cancel redundancy, which shortens the book by 9 or 10 percent, and it is ready for print. Anyway, that is how I do it. I found my long-throw stapler in the work shed and reactivated my Paypal account. I made a lousy $88 writing 100 articles for FireHow last year. Let’s see how I do writing for myself.
By 2:15 PM we are dancing in the street. The said news arrived late, but it finally arrived and it was all good. What can I say except that planning ahead pays. I almost had a callout on top of that, but we could not agree on price. The guy wanted me to drive up to Lauderhill for free, I wanted $40. If he’d called at 2:14 PM instead of 2:16 PM, I might have negotiated instead of hanging up.
Instead I went to the Barn, where they have a new rule about sitting on the floor. You can use the window sills, though they haven’t clued in they should either put chairs near the windows, or sills near the books. When I got home, I force-learned two more tunes on the bass, seeking out hits with minimal lyrics. Wanna hear me do Conway Twitty’s “It’s Only Make Believe”? Listen to it if you can, the guy is an opera singer.
And that made for one exhausting day.
