After much deliberation, I’ve decided against wireless at this time. With wireless, it is all or nothing. The microphone needs to be in conjunction with an instrument transmitter or the purpose is defeated. Since nobody makes a combo pack, the thousand-dollar investment for both boxes would cripple me for months. Hey, I do other things besides sing all day and it’s not like I haven’t been thinking. The compromise is to go half-way. A headset microphone with a twenty-foot cable. That way I’ll still be able to watch the fretboard and the cost drops to under $200.What? Oh, I’m sorry. For clarity, what I mean is a headset microphone that isn’t wireless. You’ve seen these used by cell phone drivers and switchboard operators. They are worn on the head but plugged in. My task is to find quality that works with vocals instead of dictation only. I have the money today, so I’m going shopping for tonight. Check back Sunday for the whole story.
The sad part is I have a drawer full of wireless gear that’s old or got a part missing. But I specialized on integrated circuits instead of radio, which you’ll know if you’ve been following along. As usual, by the time I get around to radio again, it will be late to save me any money. Funny how the universe works that way, innit?
But it isn’t funny how America has become a nation of professional liars. Look not further than musical equipment for blatant misrepresentation. But I believe by next Saturday I will have the digital recording gear to begin laying down my own tracks, you know, just in case. I reverted to the BR-600 on a 30-day trial; it’s the enemy I know. I rejected the BR-800 after learning the on-board editing feature had been removed, Roland claiming it was in response to a customer survey. Scumbags They still claim the recorder is suitable for road use, but now you have to bring along a computer to do it.
You say you want to know some of the rip-offs to watch for? Sure. Don’t even suggest any of the following could be simple oversights. First is the 8-channel mixer that is really a 6-channel mixer. (A stereo channel that cannot be unmixed isn’t two channels, it’s one.) Watch for “digital” units that record the signal on analog media. Steer clear of anything that requires special memory cards or batteries, or power supplies that won’t function unless there is a battery in the clip. Or Alesis where replacing the CMOS battery wipes out years of your hard work. (I know that was a drum machine, but hey, if they’ll pull a stunt like that once, know what I’m sayin’?)
Stay away from Tascam and Fostex, whose 8-channel mixers can only input 2-channels at a time. Beware of Sony and others that produce files in weird formats that can only be decoded with their own software. Watch for software that only lasts 30 days or requires “registration” or installs code in your computer registry. And help desks that won’t talk until you give out personal info. A nation of liars, but not half as bad as Canada yet.
Trivia. I always wondered how science determined species time lines. That is, we know gorillas and lemurs are related to humans, but in what sequence? It’s DNA. The less common genetic material in the strands, the further back the ancestor. So human to chimp DNA, being 99.4% the same, makes us closer related to chimps than to gorillas, with a 99.3% match. Lemurs at 77% must have evolved before gorillas, and so on.
How do they do the DNA matching? You separate human and chimpanzee helixes, place them in a test tube, and watch what percent of them recombine. Or you can centrifuge them and see how difficult the recombination is to tear apart, the tighter the bond, the closer the species. Most taxonomists list humans as a separate species (homo sapiens) only to avoid public outrage. (This produces that other outrage, “Not me, man, I’m a hetero sapien!”)
Myself, I believe that there are also measurable genetic differences between humans that are politically being covered up. There is a gene that makes some people smart but they don’t want you or me knowing the details. This is the most intensely studied field in the past 50 years, but only recently have they begun to offhandedly admit they can distinguish Africans from Asians but are terrified to speak up. We know there is a gene that controls hunger and that’s already got the fat boys screaming, “Nazis!”
I’m just sayin’.
The gig at Willy’s later was a dog. I’ll report it tomorrow when I’ve had time to reflect on the whole disaster. Even Willy’s deserves a better show than those guys put on. They are 30 feet back from the crowd and can’t hear the grumbling about all the lounge music they play, hour after hour. People want a little action on Saturday nights. You know, let me check the shed. I kept my light show and fog machine, both in perfect working order. The light show has an automatic bass sensor and the fog machine has a foot switch. And it ain’t that far to Halloween.
And on another topic, my final pronouncement on cloud computing: Don’t. Not for anything you wouldn’t want anyone to see, ever, for all time to come. A trap for fools, you do not know how the law will change, but it will not be to your benefit. Don’t buy that cover story about Big Bang research, the government is after that quantum computer entirely for the purpose of cracking computer codes. Maybe not now today, but putting your files in the cloud is imprudently compounding your future losses by supplying a known enemy with ammunition. It WILL be used against you.
Chichen Itza, Mexico
Angel Falls, Venezuela
Ko Phi Phi, Thailand
Taj Mahal, India
Borocay Island, Philippines.
ADDENDUM
The new band takes blog prominence, and that’s likely to continue a bit. Like politics, first impressions are a dominant force in the band-making process and I was worried. The important second practice y’day brought out the important common musical interests, which I’ll talk about now. They are not a country band and in reality, nor am I. My use of the term “country” is to stress not rock or blues. For years I’ve played hundreds of non-standard tunes, by which I mean not the same music a guitar fanatic would choose.
How important is this? Quite. Between my learning speed (of around four solid new tunes per day) and the collection of older music these new guys play, we are surging ahead. Failure is still the majority outcome, but this band will not fail over disagreements over what to play. Often but still by coincidence, they will pick some tune I like from the distant past, such as “Secret Agent Man”.
Working bands are collections of personalities more than musicians. This one is already proving that the members are experienced enough to remain tolerant for the sake of success. Don’t believe anyone who tells you musicianship is the most important thing. (Ask them how Ringo got to be the drummer.) We don’t have a name yet, but the drummer’s business card says “Sunshine Stompers” . I don’t look or act like what they do. I’m the spittin’ image of the over-the-hill barrel-chested rock player, which shouldn’t surprise anyone since that is exactly what I am. I’m also much older than these guys.
I’ve described the band as “loose” meaning we don’t play every song note-for-note or the same every time. This requires more theory and experience but everybody in this band definitely knows their theory. One thing to watch for, we all have strong personalities which isn’t in the equation for success. That’s why we need to play out asap. Inflowing money doth soothe the savage beast. Plus, money reinforces good conflict resolution.
These guys are also willing to travel, which I shun. I lose too many women like that. But again, it is a matter of cold, hard cash. I’m out of touch with what trios charge. I know I’m happy if I make $65 plus tips these days but I haven’t been in a trio since 1992. And we made a lot more than that back then. I’ll aim high but ready to negotiate. Return tomorrow for how things go over at Willy’s tonight. Nobody there has heard me play bass yet.
Who wants to hear about the band members so far? Alman, the drummer, sings the classics, leaning toward the Blues. He’s old school, with a steady meter and looks like he plays in a band. Bill is a strong noodler, strumming what he hears which can vary from exact but that’s what practice is for. He sings the surf and billy tunes, often extending the lead breaks which is to be expected. He’s looks like a rocker and has the welcome habit of playing most everything in the original key. I’m a generation removed but no slouch with my distinctive piano-like and provocative bass lines. I sing the ballads and country-rock. Nobody sings harmonies yet.
Be patient, I’m sure we’ll have videos and promos you can watch soon. It is not too early to scout the area for New Years. And I happened to keep the card of the Czech club that offered me thousands for a gig I could not play back in 2005. Who remembers that? They kept offering more and more because they thought I was holding out. I turned down $3,000 because I had no band and couldn’t sing. Today, I have a two-octave range and can totally fake all country timbres including the Johnny Cash crumble.
The sing-and-play combo is new, not something I’ve done in front of a crowd. At Karaoke, I only sing. I need solid stage time. Once again, I give myself six months to gain five years experience. Because I don’t have five years.
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