I can’t believe how trapped I am this month. Can’t accelerate in any direction, but quit whining I say. Even standing still I’m getting more done than some people. You know, people who lose money on real estate and people like that. But shut my mouth, because when the time comes, if I can’t unload this place, I’ll just walk away from it. And unlike some, I’d be leaving with my bank account intact.Morning coffee kept me until noon, some of the prettiest women I’ve seen lately walk into that bakery. It would appear the Hungarian community is much larger than I thought. I’ve seen at least thirty hot babes in there but I deduce only married Hungarian women buy bread. Which reminds me, still no word from the new band so I think it has just become the old band. Trios are a difficult formation and an even harder sell in this town, even if you can find a big enough stage.
Bingo was one of those nights when every thing went wrong, but the show was a pleasant success. See what happens when you hire the best. A group of fussy new people showed up just as my microphone batteries went dead. The game went ahead and an unusual crowd-pleaser turned out to be the recordings of a Munich radio station, particular a version of “Clementine”.
I thought I had mentioned that tune, but can’t find it. The Huckleberry Hound theme song, “Oh My Darling Clementine” is a popular schlager (older light pop music) ditty in Germany. For various reasons, not the least because it was Winston Churchill’s wife’s name, Clementine has been replaced by Caroline. Now explain why such a song is well received at a Florida saloon during a bingo game?
I finally watched “Don’t Mess With The Zohan” and had a riot. Even without the Arab-Israeli premise, the plot is/was first rate. Every cliché and stereotype was squeezed for comedy effect exactly the right amount. I would have passed if I had not noticed it was based on a true story. An Israeli Mossad agent dreams of becoming a hairdresser. Wow, all Israeli and New York young women are perfect without an ounce of fat. The Arab actors don’t say the word for “seven” correctly. But it’s a gooder.
ARMCHAIR ECONOMICIS 101
There is a truck with Florida plates parking in front of the doublewide, meaning Wallace finally unloaded the place. So much for his big $1,200 per month rental plans and family reunions in the ensuite. What a tribe of dumb jokers they all turned out to be. A child could have figured out any profit on that place was always dependent on my directorship. So, let’s figure out what he lost.
The original price was $28,000 which I got down to $18,000 (after six months and after I surreptitiously found out the owners had bought another place up north). So Mr. Genius lost all the rent he had to pay himself thanks to big-mouth Patsie. That’s six months at $200 and twenty-one months at $400. We’ll ignore the electric and the general rent increase of 12.5% since I left. And the sorry lack of repairs caused by his recalcitrance (wouldn’t fix it himself, wouldn’t let me fix it).
So, he lost at least $10,000 for being a smart-ass. That brings his out of pocket back to the $28,000. That amount is his breakeven point. Now, like a Canuck, he thinks he’s shrewd when he’s actually a shrew. Business acumen is not a strong trait in his family, so he’ll conveniently forget about the lost rent and repairs. He should have got at least $24,500 because that was the inherent resale value resulting from my superior negotiating.
I’ll bet he was dumb enough to take $22,000. So blabbermouth Patsie cost him $6,000 plus the price of wasted trips here, plus the friendship of what is, by the way things turned out, the only smart person he ever really knew in his life. Well, Wallace, see what happens when you shit-house lawyers think you don’t have to keep your promises. And that is in writing. So the world can continue laughing at you and Miss Piggy long after you kick off, broker but no wiser.
At least you now know where your family stands in the brains department. You should be thanking me ‘stead a floss-if-eye-zen ‘bout mind control. Come to think of it, we never did see Patsie and clan arrive for their annual retreat. What’s the matter? Is she having a little trouble getting across the border these days? Oh, and quit embarrassing yourself with that line that she’s a computer programmer. She’s so dumb she thinks nobody knows all her passwords.
