April 4, 2014

One year ago today: April 4, 2013, nothing happened.
Five years ago today: April 4, 2009, Wilmington, NC.

MORNING
           I read chapter 18 of Prof. Oz’s book. It is pretty bad, which is odd since Prof. Oz has more brains that the combined states east of the Mississippi. But I’ve seen this before, the enemy is not talent or motivation. You cannot start a blog when enthused and finish it when you next feel the same. Try that, and you get a series of disjointed chapters of wildly varying relevance to the plot. While chapter 18 was written on a better day than chapter 8, it still rivals some of the worst fiction I ever wrote, which I wrote just to see if I could get away with it. Here is where I next expect to encounter a copy of “Caribecana”. In a used book bin at the flea market.

           I ran over the weaker [musical] material [in preparation] for tonight and was surprised. I cannot find even one live recording of McCartney playing “Something” that shows him undeniably both singing and playing those famous riffs at the same time. This supports my contention about singing bass players. Two situations don’t count. Studio overdubs and finally learning to play the song live after it becomes a hit. (Maybe in later years McCartney played and sang complicated material at the same time, but not when it counted. Not when he was at the same stage of musicianship as I am these days.)
           Then I read more on forensic crime investigation. What a song and dance that is. Take for instance the so-called voiceprints. Like fingerprints, they are rarely presented as direct evidence. In 87% of the cases [in the book I read], the police used the evidence quite differently. They withheld their knowledge of the voiceprint until they were able to get the suspect to deny something. Then the voiceprint was produced not to show guilt, but to attack the suspect’s overall credibility. That, folks, is how innocent people wind up in prison. Avoid talking to the police about any crime. Shut up and demand a lawyer.
           USNews still lists Miami as the best place for single boomers to retire. They base this on a 49% rate of retired persons over 60 people being non-married. This is the weirdness that results when you try to apply mathematical ratios to human conditions. I’ve lived in Miami and there are explanations why so many old people are alone. If you are into marrying a 70 year old 280 pound Latina grandmother who is mentally incapable of learning basic English, then Miami may be your dream come true. Don’t trust the statistics. Similar statistics show the phone company is a nice place to work.
           Melilla? It was in the newspaper today, so I consulted Wiki but the airwaves are congested again. The long awaited overload of the Internet on the aging distribution system is already a reality in Florida and other third world locations. The report says some Africans tried to storm the fence. Ah, here it is. An “enclave” of 12.3 square miles on the coast bordering Morocco. Well, that’s kind of dumb, Spain. Why should the have-nots fight for freedom or work for gain when they can look by the millions across a fence and see yours ripe for the taking? The Britannica describes it as “a rocky peninsula” with a double row of razor wire to keep out refugees.
           And scientists have announced the discovery of a large lake on one of Saturn’s moons. Sigh, all of this is arriving thirty years later than it should have. Again, you can blame that super-rotten space shuttle fiasco. Face it, NASA sold out to keep their jobs after the moon program ended. Without the monumental waste of that shuttle program, we’d probably be polluting that water by now. One of my life’s biggest regrets is that thanks to the shuttle, I will kick off long before the Mars manned mission.
           More bad news? Sort of, if you know what EMP means when it comes to motor vehicles. It is the planned “chip” to be built in to all new cars that will enable the police to remotely turn off the ignition from, say, a helicopter or roadside trap. That’s all we need. They’ll quickly find uses for it other than their job of chasing bad guys.
           The way that works is: you speed, they stop your car and automatically deduct a fine from your credit card before any trial and before you can start your car again. It isn’t far-fetched to figure they’ll quickly install a universal kill code to stop all cars at once when they, um, find it convenient to do so. But generally, you are not supposed to know about this device until it is too late. Hint: it will not work on older vehicles with non-electronic ignitions.
           To bring us up until noon, I read a short transcript by Sam Harris, an anti-religion spokesperson previously unknown to me. I’ve often stated my IQ for religion is zero and that would also apply to most discussions on the topic. Hence, I’ve never before heard of Sam Harris. What impressed me is how he is not rattled by stupidity. If there is one field he’s going to get that, it would be speaking against religion. Thus, I intend to see what else this guy has to say, providing it is free and easy to locate.

EVENING
           The Legion gig occupied every moment until 1:20AM. It was musically a success, financially it was iffy. First the music. It validated my maxim that no amount of rehearsal replaces stage time, which seems intuitive but isn’t. If I had to choose ten hours rehearsal or stage time, there would be no hesitation. Stage time alone teaches a band how to recover from errors that no amount of practice ever will.

           We had a captive audience until an hour before stop time. But they were regulars who left at their customary times, leaving us playing to an empty house for the last hour with some of our best material. Same old story, old people don’t stay late to hear the band, any band. And Legions don’t tip. There was like $2 in the jar. Moving a five piece group is a major undertaking. I’m hoping, therefore, that we become the band they call only for special occasions.
           There were predictable mistakes of the brand caused by stage distractions I’d say the band is where I’d expect it to be after only two live gigs. Myself, I limped along since playing involves a lot of shifting weight foot to foot. I was uncomfortable by 11:00PM. I had a couple of Budweisers but did not take any painkillers. Not a good idea to mix the two.
           Other than that, the band is overkill for these small venues. We need to get into a casino or club circuit. We play again in three weeks out near the Miami airport. This photo shows the band setting up gear. Left to right are the guitarist, the bassist, and the vocalist. Um, this club, I found out later, is one and the same place their former bassist quit by never showing up for the gig. That episode seems to have really rattled the guys.