One year ago today: October 22, 2016, Kennedy, Trump, term limits . . .
Five years ago today: October 22, 2012, single mothers, you say . . .
Nine years ago today: October 22, 2008, I won, I won!
Random years ago today: October 22, 2011, 1-800-ADMIT-IT
I’ve got some bragging rights, but watch how smoothly I get to them. This morning found me at the Maker Faire exhibition in Orlando. I’ve only been in that city via the Amtrak and a wrong turn somewheres. It is a grungy good-for-nothing place compared to real places to visit and I was not impressed. What should have been a 98 mile round trip became a 181 mile ordeal. Remember how I mean-mouthed the world’s longest street in Colorado back in oh-twelve? Well, you should see the Interstate through Orlando. The city has removed all the street signs and replaced them with that sour attitude that you should get a GPS.
One of the first exhibits to catch my eye was in the steampunk section. The only booth that was worth seeing was a rarity—steampunk articles that actually worked. I don’t know if you can make it out in this Vivitar photo, now in sepia because the camera has begun to eat batteries and produce everything in monochrome green. This is a [working] lamp built from a blender. The bulb is inside the pitcher, which serves as the lens. The blender button is the switch. There were other neat objects made into lamps, like an old 35mm camera. The film advance knob was a dimmer. I remind the reader that while this kind of novelty may be plastered all over TV, I would not know about that. I report what gets my attention, meaning this is the biggest chance most people will ever get to being mentioned in a blog of any length or significance.
This exhibition will likely dominate my thoughts for a few days. It was overall a great show easily dominated by the computer and entrepreneur sections. Held at the Central Florida Fairgrounds, there were four large halls of booths. Some of them didn’t belong there and could not possibly have made any money. Like these places selling plastic good luck charms. The robot section, well, it was those combat robots in a cage surrounded by shrieking kids. As far as good, functional robots, nary a one.
Another thing I have not seen since the days of the trailer court is traffic congestion. It’s insane how a place that taxes billions off the Disney complex still designs roadways that do not work. I arrived on the outskirts just past 10:00AM, but did not find the fairgrounds until half-past noon. What kind of gronk city makes that even possible? Orlando. Entire intersections were missing off my map, which was less than a year old. No, not just wrong runs, I mean the whole overpass and approaches were gone. Disappeared or torn down.
I-4 is twenty miles of potholes and ruts. Coupled with Florida’s annoying habit of giving each road several random names, the entire stretch though the city is a punishing obstacle course. It is nearly impossible to navigate when you have to slow down to read every road sign, a necessity since, as just said, there is no pattern to the names. Every time you slow, some local will be riding your bumper before flying past you at 70 mph. Several vehicles with broken axles lined the shoulders and for the second time in my life, I saw a seven-vehicle bumper-to-bumper wreck. The other time was on this same highway last October. It seems almost everyone tailgates at high speed.
Honokohau Falls.
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I mentioned bragging? Some of you will take this the wrong way, that’s inevitable. But I was the best looking guy at the show. There were some 2,000 people there and they were all bland compared to me. Note I did not say I was handsome, just by comparison, the other males were all betas. It took me a while to catch on that I was startling some of the women with my looks. That should tell you how ordinary the other men were because I was also probably the oldest guy at the show.
Me, caught with a crappy camera and no business cards, I can just tell you of the bits that appealed to me. Here is a Vivitar-grade pic of a [wooden] musical instrument. If you look near the bottom, you’ll see an ordinary xylophone. Above those see a rack of wooden balls stacked in slots. Next, direct your attention to the big drum to the left. This drum has little pegs that trip levers as the operator turns a hand crank. The pattern of pegs drops one wooden ball at a time and it plays “Ode to Joy”. The balls fall into the bin at lower right, causing the operator to stop once in a while and scoop them into the hopper.
The most impressive exhibit was the model train. These layouts are common but this one was different in that most of the scenery and figures had been 3D printed. The display, some 120 feet long in a square was, I reckon, built with a fraction of the effort the older types would require. Here is a picture of a trestle some 15” long, entirely printed. It was realistic right down to the rivets. I’ll mention 3D printers again since they were a large part of the show. There were a large number of exhibits operating, including one that was making chocolate molds. Most were printing up trinkets for sale. Keychains, that type of thing.
By then, I was so tuckered I was tempted to crash in the car. Instead, I headed back and got caught in the worst Sunday traffic jam yet. Over an hour to go eleven miles, so you bet I got home and zonked for twelve hours. What they call a leaden sleep. I was out. I can finally say I attended a Maker Faire. I found a local electronics supply source and collected business cards. It’s a fact, the parts of the show that attracted the biggest crowds were the ones least likely to promote a healthy upcoming generation of right-minded scientists. The combat robots and the drone racing.
I will say, the guy doing the drone demonstrations was talented. The race course was between trees and under hoops. He flew them so fast you could only locate them by the sound. (Turns out he is the Florida state champion.) All the rest of the stalls were visited mainly by the few adults present and their families.
“All women are crazy;
it is only a question of degree.”
~W.C. Fields.
None of the concessions sold coffee. This is more noticeable over time, how coffee is falling out of favor enough to be losing it’s place as a staple in many places. Sonic burger, Taco Bell, Quiznos, none of these sell coffee. I attribute part of this to Starbucks, who although they sell coffee, I’m often the only person in a given lineup that actually orders a cup. The rest of the concoctions they sell can hardly be called coffee. So, I spent $3 on a soda and another $3 on a corndog. Just before entering the Lego display, I shelled out $4 for sort of ice cream made of frozen pellets and mini-chocolate chips.
They had the world’s largest Lego roller coaster, do not touch. It was less impressive than the train display. They had the world’s largest Lego roller coaster, do not touch. It was less impressive than the train display. The trains were microcomputer controlled and vastly superior to the old rheostats. The operation was so smooth, like the first one I saw in Colorado five years ago, and seven years ago. It could fool a movie camera. Here is a still from a short video of the two model trains passing each other. This was not a robotic display, but a society of enthusiasts (the scale model 3D pieces are downloadable). There are at least three robot or entrepreneur clubs in Orlando, but it is too far to comumute, even if they meet next door to the train station. And even if you could get me to willingly drive in Orlando ever again.
The atmosphere was one of the familiar science fair, except now the displays do all the work. In my day, the operators were subject to cross-examination by the judges, probably because it most cases it was so obvious that little Johnny’s dad had done most of the actual work. Not today, it was clear by a few sentences that I often knew more the builders, which to me is strong evidence they were using kits. Kits are fine, but they are not robot science. Not building the parts yourself is short-changing on the experience. This is why I chose wood instead of metal.
One more surprise was the complete lack of anyone with their faces stuffed on smart phones. There was no rule about taking pictures. Ha, I did have a couple questions what was the article on the lanyard around my neck. It’s entirely possible some of those people have never seen an ordinary camera. There was some literature available on wind generators, but that whole technology doesn’t pass the smell test. The government stats, especially the pay-back period, are way out of whack. My advice is keep your money away from wind power until that whole industry is independently investigated. Look how organized crime killed the nuclear energy, which should have been perfected and giving us practically free electricity by now. What, you say that wasn’t organized crime? Then how come it quacks like a duck?
And although it will never happen again, you are darn rights I’m showing up at the next nearby Maker-Faire. This time fully equipped with extra cash, business cards, and forewarning of what to do if by some miracle, I’m again the most—in some could say only—photogenic male in the place. That used to happen a lot with my ex and I, we were the ‘it’ couple. But only as a team. This time around, I was alone, though not by choice.
ADDENDUM
Overall, I rate the show an A for effort. They get a C for having a dual admission structure and only a D for staying on topic. It’s sad, but they also get a D for originality. Other than the aforesaid steampunk working models, there was very little in the displays that called for any creative talent. Everywhere there were claims of kids who “did this all by themselves”. But does downloading some software, installing it, and clicking on “run” really amount to inventiveness? Not in my books, and these are my books.
One thing that shocked me, and it always does, is how fully-funded these exhibitors are. Teens with equipment that is beyond reach for most of us. Banks of new and fine equipment, components, spare parts, and metering tools that made my eyes water. Who recalls our club decision to not build a robot for real because of the minimum cost of $20,000? The Maker Faire show of Orlando, October 2017, would have convinced you how right I was. Don’t find this discouraging, but it’s okay to appreciate this blog is one of the few places you can find out about these downsides without somebody trying to sell you a subscription.
How about that big statistic being thrown around these days that 24% of new immigrants to the USA have never heard of Ramen noodles? That tells us a lot about the 1965 Immigration Act. We are letting in the dregs of the world, just like the Romans did before they got trampled into history. Besides, who is paying for surveys that ask such questions? Are these all legal immigrants, or is the poll just telling us they don’t sell noodles in Havana or Juarez.
And what about the government subsidizing private universities to build new swimming pools? Mr. Trump, put a stop to that wastage. Universities should be academic settings and let’s face it, there are not a lot of athletes who graduate and go on to high paying jobs climbing buildings. Or throwing spears or swimming back and forth. Mind you, I’m among the first to recognize that plenty of experience running around in circles is an excellent job qualification for the world these millennials have voted in for themselves.
Last Laugh
(Irish handcuffs.)
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