One year ago today: November 30, 2016, it’s what it looks like.
Five years ago today: November 30, 2012, motorcycle toe.
Nine years ago today: November 30, 2008, birds got knees?
Random years ago today: November 30, 2011, custom sidecars.
Not being even distantly related to Dickens or Thoreau, no way can I make a budget jaunt down to Miami into an amusing blog post. Without the motorcycle, I can’t pretend anything was as much fun as we are used to. So, you get the list of what happened. I got up way earlier than anybody else, got every last detail into place, and drove to my most important medical exam of the quarter. That’s all the information you get about that. Well, except it should have been a twenty minute procedure [at the clinic] instead of the three and a half mostly wasted hours. I’ve mentioned how the tests have become preventative lately, and pal, I’m not kidding. Now they are testing things like my thyroid.
This got me a late start, but not before I stopped for coffee and a slice of key lime pie. Eleven bucks. I’m just saying four years ago JZ and I complained about spending seven bucks each for the same thing. Consider today a last bash since tomorrow begins my major vegetarian diet. Rather than figure this one out, just keep checking in for the details. I can’t wait to see how I fare when my ticker is working to keep me healthy and energetic instead of lugging around fifty or so extra pounds. That part I’ll tell you about now. It’s bloggable because this time, I’m dead serious over it.
Here’s the nitty-gritty, short and to the point. I experienced a mysterious weight gain in 2003 and nothing worked to lose it. I was open to any treatment and was very, very heavily influenced by the knowledge that obesity is the most dangerous condition for those with heart problems, especially high blood pressure. And need I remind anyone I am ex-phone company? One of these treatments was a substance called phentermine, which has been tested addictive. But for me, I had none of the side effects. It did the plain and simple task of killing my appetite. You don’t even think about food. For me this made it super easy to choose small portions of only the most nutritious chow. And I dropped twenty pounds.
Alack, the prescription was $230 per month. But recently, a generic form became available for $40. That’s in my price range. So take yet another journey with me to see where we go this time. The accompanying literature states in the first paragraph that it “is not known how this medication helps people lose weight”. There are a ton of cautions and some warnings against abuse of this product, but I’ve had it before and did not find any pleasurable sensations that could lead to dependence. For all I know right now, the weight loss itself could be actually be a side effect. I have the advantage of knowing that it works for me.
Mexican blankets.
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I drove from Hollywood to Punta Gorda in three hours, dropping off Alaine’s stuff at the waterfront mansion. You know, the kind of place I’d have today if my parents had given me 10% of what we are dealing with here. Here’s some Florida talk. I took Alligator Alley to old 27, the north through Cluelesstown, Moore Haven, then a new road [sort of] called Hwy 74 to just south of the big bridge over the Peace. I stacked everything up in the screened porch area and by then it was dark.
King’s Highway goes to Arcadia. I stopped at the Rustler and by luck found the barbershop quarter guy. He played us this video of the first non-American band to win the annual award for this brand of vocals. Listen, this guy is a total pro and when I finally release my music recordings, he’ll most likely be in the mix. He knows his job, for instance, he is the guy that told me that Abba was actually average by Swedish standards because that language has 32 vowel sounds when the language is sung. English, when being sung, as just 16 vowel sounds. You don’t have to know what they sound like to be impressed by anyone who knows this stuff. (The top number is Dutch, with 38 sounds when sung.)
More accurately, I dropped off most of her stuff. Somehow this white ceramic swan got moved to the front footwell under my map case, so I didn’t notice it until after I got home. Is this about to become the traveling swan? Either it gets another trip to Punta Gorda or is goes back to Miami on one of the 2018 visits. That Hwy 74 west of Palmdale was a new route to me and I must say it goes through a lot of classic and prosperous farming and ranching spreads. As with the rest of America, however, there are very few family farms left. It’s a pity—how that situation was twenty years late for kids like me.
Say, that reminds me, this will be her first birthday away from the immediate vicinity of family. Ah, do I detect an opportunity to fire up the batbike and go play some music out in Punta Gorda? Time to polish up my one-liners, which are the most cerebral part of my show. Here’s your quip for the day. The teacher says, “Okay Johnny, name me two days of the week that start with the letter ‘T’.”
Says Johnny, “Today and tomorrow.”
ADDENDUM
Getting home after dark, I left unpacking until tomorrow and zipped over to a piano bar. Ah, here’s an item for you. That’s one of the joints where I had given my sales pitch about how the local entertainers were not holding the crowd’s attention. That’s the same place I used to go on Karaoke night to demonstrate the difference between that kind of dreary show they usually hired and the way I could entrance the place. No, I’m not bragging, since I can do this on command, it ain’t bragging. Well, it would seem this has had some impact, and the piano guy put on an incredible show. And the owners I had talked to about this were both present, hmmm.
Or at least incredible for those who did not recognize he was playing at roughly a third grade piano level. That’s not a mean thing to say. A lot of the best Mozart is around that caliber and I happen to really like Mozart. The point here is that the guy, who has played many a dishwater act there before, has (get this) teamed up with a guitarist. He does an admirable job, but you guessed it. There was not one person in the place who did not draw the parallel between his new show and what I’ve been preaching.
I’m not saying I was the cause, only that intentional or not, it would seem the house is now getting pickier about who they put on stage. And that was most definitely not the situation until I came along. Even if it is pure coincidence, everybody who knows me is going to draw the connection. The solo act cannot compete with the duo. Um, the show was also the reason I chose not to do a piano act. While he could fire up the crowd, there are too few street-popular piano tunes to sustain that kind of show. Basically, he was able to deliver the wow for that critical third set.
But that’s where he reached the limit. He would play a great song but then often could not follow it up. Instead, he would resort to inserting lengthy boogie solos, or entire jazzed up classical riffs for up to ten minutes. It’s great, but heed my warning that this technique wears off very quickly if played too frequently to the same audience. And this area is full of one-bar towns. After a big tune, he’d ask the audience for requests and get back silence. Ah, my reasoning over playing country classics suddenly makes more sense.
I’ll keep listening for the fallout on this one. Nobody in that place could have possibly missed the connection, especially since I stayed over an hour. It’s not easy to get me to do that unless I’m busy. And I wasn’t. That piano guy, who I don’t really know, is a fantastic musician, well over my pay grade. But he is a rookie who can’t even touch the experience I have on audience appeal. He still has to learn to ditch that guitarist, or at least get rid of the electric and switch him to acoustic. He has to quit playing songs just because they are great piano pieces.
Myself, I can’t work with keyboardists because their left hand clashes with my best bass lines. And they won’t or can’t stop doing that. He also would have to revamp the style of music he plays. I know, I was a lounge musician and I had to change. I know it isn’t accurate to make such associations, but if a rocker like me can switch over to classic country music, there simply has to be something to it. The piano show was exceptional, but like the Hippie, he is still playing at the audience instead of along with them. Breaking that habit is the final tier of becoming a true entertainer.
Last Laugh
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