One year ago today: October 10, 2017, "auto" profiling?
Five years ago today: October 10, 2013, my handiwork.
Nine years ago today: October 10, 2009, nearly a sellout?
Random years ago today: October 10, 2007, . . . but good-looking.
Here’s one of the first of the first. A hand assembled Apple computer. One of the few still in existence, this gem was apparently worth $151,000 to a collector. The connection here is that I was working just a few miles away as a day laborer in an orchard while these people were building an empire. It’s the same old story, I can learn anything, such as what Jobs and Wosniak had learned, but how and where I did not know. With my robotics background, I can look now at that circuit board and know how simple it was for them to do this. I’m not belittling their accomplishment, but how did they know what to do?
I’m dead serious about that. You can easily read back in this blog to find numerous instances where I had the idea well in advance of it finally being invented. Like I tried for years to learn to program interactive web pages, but every manual or textbook fell short. Today I still can’t—and that is why I ask how and where people like Zuckerberg learned it? It’s not like I could take the same courses because Zeckerberg never took them either, he just stole the idea. My major frustrations, the stage-friendly drum box, the on-line serial number storage silo, and a dozen other projects, all due to being unable to find out where I can learn to do the programming or anybody willing to work like I do, that is, without pay until something connects.
Just what am I supposed to think when I see Zuckerberg testifying and realize he himself only has the vaguest idea how the programming works. He assembled Facebook from modules already written. I know the role that luck plays, and it cannot explain even the least of what I’m talking about here. I’ve reviewed the bulk of blogs and podcasts by the likes of Gates and Jobs and these people are no towering intellects who found the answer to the question I’m asking. It seems, for the most part, they never even hit the same barrier.
But, I’m going to shut up on this in about a minute because I’m failing to communicate what I mean. I don’t want to come across as jealous of other’s success, guys, that would be too convenient an explanation. I categorically state don’t want their success, I want my own and I’m asking where they found that single critical resource that has stumped me for a lifetime. I know that most people who program drum machines are copying code from other sources. Where are they and why can’t I find it? These people are out there by the hundreds, why can’t I meet any? Why won’t any of them talk, or answer questions? I would build the drum box now, if I could get my hands on that code.
If you think it is easy, prove it. I’ll cut you in for a whopping share. I know that I could sell an estimated 80,000 of these machines as fast as they came off the production line. I’ve got the entire business concept on spreadsheets, right down to how we could have tied them into future sales back when that was still legal in the computer field. It would be a digital copyright wonderland, because I’ve got the way to prevent each machine from playing anything but legal copies of the disks containing the drum tracks. In the second improved model, sales are 140,000 units in America. It would change the way that solo and duo guitarists put on their shows.
But I cannot find a single word on how to program an entirely new drum machine from scratch. No, the Arduino sketch out there is not good enough. I already tried that. It cannot be made to work like what I want. Did I just type what I think I did? That isn’t me, maybe I’m having a bad no-hair day. I’m ashamed I said that and I’m going back right now to take another look at the sketch.
Disputed island.
(Denmark vs. Canada)
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Here’s a view of my new sub-panel with six of the 15 new circuits in place. The quality of workmanship is not merely superb, it is perfect. The wiring is graceful and the attention to detail is evident. The labor price? Only $62, as the guy worked by the hour and he was efficient. Thank Agt. R for the contact, because most of the trades won’t take on any side work. The air conditioners are active and on separate circuits and by later today, we’ll have service in all the new bedroom receptacles.
On the hotdog cart, I installed a set of tie-down clips and got a tarp cover. It’s light duty, meant to keep the rain off during storage. There is some chance we have an opening this upcoming Saturday, there is a street flea market or something in the east end and Agt. R got a positive response from the organizer, an old family friend. But I asked him to re-confirm, since he says he gave me a paper with all the info, but it isn’t on file over here. Or I should say, it was not scanned and in the computer. I’ve wasted too much of my life already looking around for hard copy.
Next on the vee is my Thursday gig. It isn’t flying, although I enjoy the outing and the practice. The changes I’ve made are not keeping up with the crowd and there is a couple (not regulars) who don’t like my show. They act like two married people cheating, maybe they think nobody can see them skulking in the far corner, but apparently they said something. I noticed them the once, they don’t belong in this place. My guess is they are another of those 50-ish types who try to deny they are old by playing their children’s music on the jukebox.
[Author’s note: to my overseas readers (TMOR) “on the vee” is a terrible pun used mostly between men. The correct expression is “what’s on the agenda”. But the locker room version is “what’s on the vagina”, the only polite non-slang word in English for the female body part. However, when used this way, the expression is crude, so if there is any chance of being overheard, it is shortened to “what’s on the vee”.]
Thusforth, tomorrow may be my closing act, or maybe last week was already my last solo gig at the FUBAR. I have something I could potentially take to a veteran’s hall or trailer court. Again, I do not bill myself as a solo musician, but as a “live DJ” show. I’ve got nothing lined up. That’s okay, since I have to dig an 18” deep trench 30 feet out to the shed. The electrician recommends 30 Amp service, which will include a 240V breaker out there. Today, I’ll pick up the 10/3 cable, by extrapolation it should run around $65.
The job is “shovel-ready” and a lot of work for a guy my age. But I’m grateful I can still pick up a shovel and it may go easier because the soil base is powdery mine tailings. What I learned that was not adequately covered in the manual is how to run the PVC piping underground. I’ve seen the grey-colored conduits but did not know if they were acceptable. I find out they are completely workable with the regular cutting tool and cement that I already have, just the pipes are not rated for pressure. This makes life a little easier.
I’ll get pictures, but I have the piping outside and ready to go. It was surprisingly cheap, as in less than $3 for a ten foot section. I was worried I’d have to spend $15 a tube on the metal conduit. If you noticed the 10/3 cable is heavy duty, it is because I intend to throw an air conditioner in the white shed, which is uninsulated. The point being, I’ve already got so much done in there that it far more than pays for any lost heat. Admittedly, I have not been keeping up with keeping you up to date with how much I use that shed. It’s small, but still a work shed and I’ve wanted one my whole life. That new sub-panel makes a lot of difference.
Okay, siesta time. I’ve marked a story pole to get the trench the right depth and the weather alert says tomorrow may be the day. That storm that flared up near Cuba is causing surges all over the coastlines, but those are 60 miles away. Surges mean a nice inland wind to keep cool, so maybe I’m looking at some manual labor tomorrow. How long has it been since I dug a ditch 30 feet long? My god, that many years ago?
ADDENDUM
[Author’s note: next is your next world-class essay taking place behind the scenes at the Karaoke show. It probably goes a little deeper than necessary, but that’s part of why you’ll read it more than once, eventually. Are you ready for another glimpse at the seamy underbelly of the entertainment trade? Those with any illusions should fasten their seat belts. To paraphrase Lilly Tomlin, “If I’d known what it took to have it all, I would have settled for less.”]
I’ve created my own competition, here’s my stunt double at the laundry a few hours earlier, not suspecting a thing. Tuesday Karaoke is pretty lame most of the time, but that means a fast rotation. For twenty-three months, my act was original, it raised the bar, no pun intended. If only because I memorized the lyrics, that alone outdistanced the pack. I could get the house rocking and set the mood for audience participation. Tonight showed that others have been paying attention. They’ve checked out my act and they’ve been learning. In particular, Abe, the guy from the VFW. And he’s about the most popular old guy in town.
You see, unlike me, Abe has talent. He’s a sharp dresser who looks great in different hats, and he knows it. Careful what I’m saying here, if he was just copying my moves, no big deal because any idiot can do the same. Abe is smarter than that. His new show has me written all over it. He’s matched my hidden technique of picking the best of what’s available and adapting it to make the most difference short of showing off. Never show off. And trust me, he’s made a masterful job of it. Abe’s no ordinary imitator.
Worse, others have seen Abe make the transition and aren’t as overwhelmed. The house no longer falls silent when I walk in the door. All the women know me by name or reputation. Now I have this sizable contingent who don’t sound as squeaky when they get up after me. Ah, but you want some facts, something you can use for comparison. Like most acts, it’s a collection of small things that polish up the whole show. I will use Abe as an example because he has incorporated all the foremost moves.
√ Thrown out slow music and custom-picked tunes that match his stage personality.
√ The lyrics are memorized, he now only glances at the screen for queues.
√ Walks right up to the crowd and pulls them into the tune for a sing-a-long
√ Never just stands there, he dances while singing and visually keeps the beat.
√ He elbows around during the instrumental breaks to keep focus on the stage.
√ And most tellingly, he’s learned to sing what appeals to women.
Also, there is a gal singer with some professional training now showing up. And she’s good. I met her a couple years ago. Rumor is she went to Nashville. Alas, I knew she was not anywhere near star material and had asked her to team up with me. But she wanted a boyfriend as well as a band partner and that was hardly possible, what with her age and tattoos and, well, gals that young are not supposed to be already frumpy.
She’s back and making a huge impact doing something I’ve tried and failed. Finding an opposite sex duet partner. She’s got boobs and has her pick. Not me, I have to practically beg third rate females to even sing in unison with me.
What’s in the stars for me? Finding a different venue is out of the question, the cities here are just too small. What cards do I have left and what can I change? This time I’ll focus on things not so painless to copy, roger that. Things that come to mind are dancing and power singing. Where Abe had moves, he lacks years of pro dance experience, and while it fits the beat, he can’t make it fit the song. Abe is no musician, I’ve got him there. Another item is projection. I learned to fake that as well. Most of them have to eat the microphone where I have to hold it a foot away. Where the others generally shy away from chick songs, I could learn Amii Stewart, type of thing, knowing they would not touch that type of music.
Or I could go the opposite of doing simpler things that would be too obvious to outright copy. None of the others are comfortable with syncopated moves and music. It would be a cheap shot, but the others also look like Karaoke singer types and I’ve never been mistaken for that. There’s also dynamics that I get away with being a natural extrovert around women. A third option is subterfuge (spoofing), I mean since there is no place to take lessons, they are plainly monkeying me and I could turn that back on them. I’ve got lots of hats I never wear. Not to mention my old stage uniforms now fit again, if snugly.
I could take the drastic step of (finally) learning harmony. None of them are even close to trying that. Also, I mentioned voice projection. It would be a monumental task to learn such songs, but more for them than me. The crucial point here is that being a copycat usually indicates the people are not willing to work hard. They’ve apprenticed well but Abe is the only one who has done so systematically. They’ve waded into the shallow end and if I want to retain any kind of lead, it’s high time I got off my tush. Is it important that I keep ahead of the pack? Well damn rights? What else have I got? We arrive back at the same eternal realization: the trouble with succeeding is that you have to keep on succeeding.
They’ve learned the art of stage warfare and they’ve learned it from yours truly. Let the games begin.
[Author’s note: learning harmony is an indirect tactic. I need something that puts me back in the lead for another two years. I still have not met my Taylor Swift yet. You don’t normally get up and sing a harmony line to a Karaoke track. What I do is find tunes where I can do an Everly Brothers. Then take the cover tunes to the show on disk or MP3. I know what kind of rig each Karaoke jockey in south Polk can play back. I would sing a harmony line to the original, each tune being chosen for maximum audience effect. I could very well find myself singing Abba.
Ha, let ‘em try to copy that!]
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