August 6, 2006

           My unexpected day off found me in Ft. Lauderdale in two stages. First, to cruise around Las Olas Blvd. and take some sample pictures for the long awaited booklet. Second, over to the computer show to see if it is still there and if any bargains are left. You may recall my plan to take pictures of all the “No Parking” signs in the Fort. Such plans evolve once I get on the scene and that is what happened here.
           This is the project I had hoped Cheryl would help with, but she has gone underground for over a month. Cancel that. The bicycle brought the project back to a realizable fact. That is not to say anything was easy, for I can promise you every bit of the work was tough. It may seem like a simple matter to get on your bike an peddle through the streets snapping pictures. Try it to find out why I ran a test first. Nearby is an over-obvious example of what I have in mind. The final product won’t be so obvious.

           What’s changed is moving away from strictly pictures of the signs to pretending to take pictures of local landmarks, scenery or businesses and “mistakenly” getting a no parking or towaway sign in the picture. The plan had to change to something more sellable and during the day in that hot, hot sun, I was able to formulate some better tactics. For example, twice I had security guards walk out toward me in the public street to see what I am doing. I bought an ID badge that flashes “PRESS” and they left me alone. Screw them, you see, they assumed I was taking a picture of “their” building.
           What do I mean, test? Have you considered the effect of three hours in the Florida sun on your body and your equipment? Okay, first, you need two cameras. Two cameras have two sets of batteries, so usually only one goes dead. Both mine did today. Get a small voice recorder or you waste too much time writing descriptions. Get something you can stand up on at least a foot high, some of those signs are 15 feet up off the roadway. Get a good clipboard and I am going to try to rig something up on the handlebars to hold it (I have no front basket).

           Charge up your laptop to the nines, and take a picture of anybody you see staring at it too long. It can be tricky finding a shady spot to download your pictures. You will also need a diagram of a block with places you can put a number or check mark as you progress. I am going to eliminate alleyways from the set since most tourists won’t see those. I was able to get around only four blocks in three hours because of messing with the equipment, dead batteries and continually having to move the car.
           Take plenty of quarters. Two reasons. One, nobody anywhere will give you any change unless you buy something and even then, maximum one dollar. The natives of Ft. Lauderdale have a perverse hatred about giving parking change. Two, the meters only take quarters. That is not strictly true for if you put in a dime or a nickel, it will indeed take it but not increment the meter. There is plenty of private parking at $3.00 for the first hour.

           The point is that the project is short term, original and now entirely possible to complete by myself. There are several of the streets and blocks that I will eliminate from the grid. The actual area is likely to be half what I had planned since the residential areas are not very exciting and cannot be made so with what I have. I have already planned a small database to keep track of where the signs are, pointing out that it is to keep track, not to be searchable. Then, who knows?
           The computer show (MarketPro) is dying. The few vendors who have storefronts and use the show for advertising can say in place a while longer. The people who use it as a weekend computer swap meet are out of luck. The competition is cutthroat and most of the clientele is already “priced-out” like me. I won’t buy anything that costs more than $20 and you have to squeeze that out of me. Some of the sellers have bad personalities which does not help, like that German lady who is really pushy about why you looked at something. As if it is definitely her business.

           You’ll see lots of people checking out the prices but not buying. The displays are too elaborate for the vendors to put up and take down repeatedly. The signs are that the thing is nearly defunct. Too bad, the only other worthwhile show is way down in Homestead. That reminds me, JZ called and wants to drive out here next week. He is convinced there is lots to do in this town. That is because he does things I don’t do, such as gamble, drink and chase sleazy women. Hold on, that is unfair. He does not see a woman who has been shacked up since she was 18 as being sleazy.
           I stopped at Coffee Time for a bagel this morning. Legs++ was there. I cannot figure out why something that good looking is still single in this town. Like I explained long before, there are not even any guys hanging around, know what I mean? It can’t be something simple because standards in Florida are so low, and even if each guy found out what I don’t know, why isn’t there always another to take his place? The blonde mother who thinks I “need an older, more mature woman” mentioned I look different somehow. Yeah, I lost 15 pounds but I didn’t say anything about it. She might (I'm afraid) tell some mature woman about me.