October 23, 2008

           This was not a good day for most of us in this direction. Here is a picture of the phoney “Nigerian” scam bad check. It works on the fact that when you cash a check at one of those non-bank outfits, you are using your own credit. If the check bounces, you are stuck for the entire amount plus penalties. In this instance, the dupe was supposed to cash the check, keep $500 for himself, and send $2,900 to Ghana so his lover could fly to America to meet him. The lover whose picture was lifted out of a 1997 Sears-Roebuck.
           The normal order of payer and payee are reversed. That is the biggest clue. Beware of all non-standard check formats. The payee field is blank; I erased the remitter field myself. The signature is fake. It is stunning that there are enough ignorant people in America to make such a scam viable.
           I had my first Canadian-style conversation of the season at the shop today. Would you like to hear it? Okay. In response to a question about what I was doing, it went like so: “I’m doing nothing, and I mean that in the dictionary context and not any other. This is not a commitment to your or anyone else and I reserve the right to continue or discontinue without notifying you. I caution you not to make any decisions based on what I am doing or not doing. My doing nothing does not imply that I am free do what you want. If I choose not to talk to you, this does not mean you can cancel out on other commitments you have already made. That is all.”
           This is normally followed by having to say, “I told you that is all” several more times. Mostly this is the only way to deal with these people. No Canadian, no employer, or anyone in my family has ever asked me such a question without an ulterior motive. Have you learned something from this or are you one of the guilty?
           More about Canada, in that Wallace has become concerned about the exchange rate, which is approaching 30% of the dollar in favour of the good old USA. As a matter of fact, I know a lot about that, because you lose another 30% in Revenue Canada taxation. The only encouragement I can give him is to assure him he is far better off having $600 here than having $1,000 up there. Canadian gas is $5 a gallon and cigarettes are $11 a pack.
           Another thing I learned from a Canadian was the use of the apology as a defence. I was raised that an apology was an admission of wrong-doing and a tacit promise not to repeat the offence. Not so in Canada. Robyn Ceta taught me that a Canadian apology is just another social manoeuvre. Instead of offering redress for the harm inflicted, you just say “sorry” to put the ball in their court. So what if you just trashed someone’s life? Just say you are sorry to see how they deal with it. Canada.
           An example of this occurred tonight. I drove up to Boston’s to jam with Arnel. When I arrived, there was a drunk broad who kept bothering him on stage. As a musician, I can assure all you who may suspect otherwise that no, not every woman is a potential sex partner when you are on stage. I’ve got a dollar for every fat, stupid, middle-aged slut housewife who thought she was a catch. Arnel specifically asked her to back off at least four times while I was there. Possibly six. I have yet to see a Florida barkeep kick out a paying customer no matter how obnoxious they are.
           She kept trying to get up on stage, if you call a 3 inch platform a stage. Pitching forward in a drunken stupor, she knocked a steel microphone casing into Arnel’s face, cutting his upper lip and possibly damaging his front teeth. This is not an occupational hazard for it was an incident allowed to happen by negligent staff not doing their job. Then, the drunk kept trying to intimidate Arnel with the fake apology thing. And the desperate loser staff did not cut her off or escort her to the door. Only men get thrown out, you see. She did not attend to his wound or pain, instead she acted out the “sorry” script and was “offended” when he kept backing away from her.
           In my show, I have a brace of tables to prevent anyone from approaching my stage directly. It is also nearly impossible for anyone to talk to me when I’m playing, and I reinforce that by making everyone wait until I am finished the current song before I’ll talk. Tomorrow I will check with Arnel.
For the archives, the two of us played excellent covers of “This Thing Called Love” and “Sweet Home Alabama”. Goes to show you what’s possible when I actually practice in advance. Will was in, but left when we cranked the volume. Later I dropped in at Jimbo’s. There were no customers and they closed early. Karaoke Ron is greatly missed. His show used to guarantee at least a small crowd.
           Trivia. What nation is the largest consumer of whisky/whiskey? That’s both per head and in total, far ahead of all other nations, including Scotland. I was mildly surprised to learn it is India. Hey, all that Hare Krishna stuff must have got started somehow.