Let’s relax. Looking at today’s picture makes me wonder if I’ve gone Navajo. Look a little closer to notice there are four distinct lines. Top to bottom, I call them flatline, turret, huffduff and seti. They represent my analysis of my own bicycle riding patterns. I’ll explain soon.Let us talk about bicycles, for we need the diversion. Today I was researching bicycle tours throughout Middle America. (Golly, why would I be doing something like that?) The majority of articles agree [with me] that Panama is the most boring and useless place to bother with. Let me sift the facts. For instance, did you know the new titanium spokes (of which your bicycle as 72) are now selling for up to $12 each?
Let me cough up the trivia as we go along. The record bicycle speed (correctly determined not by velocity, but by total distance covered) is 33 miles per hour. I consider it an honor that I not infrequently peak at one-third of that. Due to the zero-impact nature of pedaling, I can extrapolate my own ability to bicycle at 16 times greater than I can walk. The bicycle saved my life. Did you know it was not even called a bicycle until the 1890’s? Some Belgian newspaper decided, thank goodness, to quit calling it the “velocipede”.
The zig-zag arrangement in today’s photo is a diagram of how I ride my bicycle. The first is a straight line, showing the distance I would travel in windless, level territory. The second shows the exploratory criss-cross route I would take up and down the streets of a new town. Third is the situation where there is only single side road in and out of something worth viewing. Last is a random “drunkard’s walk” when I’m scouting a new area.
I know that I would have to average 31 to 36 miles per day to even attempt a bicycle camping trip. At this point, my cardiologist says no. So far my “in-city” round-trip record has been 26 miles. To prove I have given the matter real thought, I’ll reveal my nicknames for the bicycle patterns shown above.
The first I call “flatline” for it resembles a hospital DOA monitor. The second I call “turrets” as you see. Third is named “HuffDuff” after the oscilloscope pattern on WWII British bombers. And the last I refer to as “seti”, for it resembles the static picked up by the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. Should I regain my health, I must make a major bike trip within the next few years.
Meanwhile, if you are looking for spectacular scenery, the best I can recommend is the Sabana Grand in Venezuela. The landforms are the most spectacular imaginable. Plus, most Venezuelan roads are paved, including long stretches of unused country highways.
