Some sharp dude has taken my idea of an easy to use drum box and built it. But he didn’t steal my idea, since his approach was different than my “beat box”. He’s build a stomp box (foot pedal) with a small LED screen far superior to the number readouts on the existing junk. (Boss, Alexsis, Zoom, all pieces of junk and I accused the builders of collaboration.) And he raised the money using crowdfunding (Indiegogo), something else I would not have considered, because I could not get anyone to explain in plain language how it worked.
And once more I ask, where did he learn to do this kind of programming? I looked for months to find even a basic tutorial on how to program drum boxes without success. But where I have to admire his genius is how he surmised same as me to make the display customizable. So where I have to find Beat 004, this pedal will display “Folsom Prison Blues”. At $350, it is a bargain. I wish I had kept the e-mail of that bozo (Red Devil) in England I asked to build one for me six years ago, but he was too much of a dork to even listen. “I work alone”, he said. I estimated the preliminary market for this machine at 75,000 units and he told me I was dreaming.
The downsides? It is a pedal, which restricts the operator to a fixed position on stage. It has many drum kits, but as usual, most are pretty whacked out. You have to kneel down and change the settings between each song (there is a footswitch to scroll through folders, but that is still not random access, as I had planned mine). On the other hand, this is an instantly successful device and this is only the first model.
And what really hurts is the inventor is from Miami. I wrote him an e-mail explaining how my idea of 2008 worked. He’s got a new product that will take over from drum boxes and we have decided to meet up or collaborate when it becomes think-tank time again.
Miguelito came by to visit and update me on his mechanic work. He finally put a new carburetor on his scooter whereas I’m hesitant to put even another penny into mine as long as it runs well enough. On the other hand, my computers are in top-notch condition with zero virus or malware problems. It’s what you specialize in. It was early, so I relocated the conversation up to the bakery.
He’s never been there. His eyes were popping out. I told you, the babes shop there. Sure, they are all taken. But that’s what being a babe is all about. And he wasn’t even there long enough to see the fashion show that happens around noon. Speaking of fashions, I headed up to targets to get some new trousers. My old standby jeans, Wrangler, has changed their jigs. When I was of a certain age, I switched to relaxed fit. That’s what they messed up, I don’t know what they changed, but the fit is now a little too relaxed. It looks baggy and baggy looks dumpy. Thus, I opted for Dickies. It is work gear, but casual enough for me. I’m not getting anything fancy while my weight is still fluctuating.
But that was not a nice change Wrangler did. Then again, several garment factories have announced they will be changing their patterns to fit “the way people are really shaped”. I’ve always had trouble buying pants. The assumption is anyone with a 32 inch inseam is either 5-foot-2 or weighs 280 pounds. Nothing fits “off the shelf”.
And by now, I really hate Windows 7. Some of the more bastard-rat things it does include changing folder names. Pictures become “public pictures”. It is also very sluggish, even on a brand new computer. When you open MicroSoft Office, you get advertising every damn time. That Calibri font, that is an abortion and a half. And when you select a file, it does not automatically open on the second click like before. Or it selects all the files using a difficult to see grey background where it used to “invert” the colors on what was active. All told, it sucks and we are stuck with it.
Here’s a stat I may have missed. Only 5% of bicycle riders report that they’ve met their significant others while riding. What are the bets it was not the grown men wearing spandex? Or those pointy helmet thingees. Or them dipstick goggles. Or them gloves with no fingers. Yes, Ken, they seen you coming, that’s why all the salesmen were leaning on the glass as you walked up.
ADDENDUM
Rehearsal last evening verged on disappointment. The same pattern is recurring, I cannot find a guitar player who will dedicate to learning the material the right way. Billie-Bill was here, and talented as he is, there is no way he reviewed anything on his own since last day. When you play in countless bands, it does not result in good musical experience because there are too may bad habits to be picked up out there. The worst one is comping, but here are some others.
The “fast fourth”, which I also call “doing a Clapton” is to substitute the fourth chord of a scale for the second measure of a four measure phrase. Unless it is in the original, it is wrong. Amateur bands don’t know that and pretty soon they are using it to screw up classics like “Kansas City”. Or how about the polka beat. Even I can play very fast music without it coming out sounding like a polka, but this ability is not as common among guitar players. Then there is bad layering. This is where the strums are played too loud which results in a thin-sounding instrumental break. Guys, cranking the volume fools nobody.
But, Billie-Bill is still the best shot I’ve got at anything in the short run. We played a couple of rockabilly hits, which sounded fantastic compared to the way he played my material. Um, that could be because I didn’t comp, I sat down and learned his music. Looks like I have to stop the show from adopted all his accumulated worst transistions. For instance, now he wants to use the drum box, which means he wants to play lead instead of rhythm.
Ah, but you want technical points. It is important to avoid both the guitar and bass ever doing the same thing unless it is by design (sometimes called “playing in unison”). The cardinal sin of playing along with me is to try to watch my left hand. You will get thrown off, even if I don’t catch you doing it and purposely turn away. Learn your job. Arranging tunes for a duo setting is an acquired skill. If you think it’s easy, you are not doing it right.
My backup plan? You know that this time around I have my finger in a lot of pies. The big band just e-mailed to say another Legion wants us on April 4. My vote says take it. My reasons are to keep that lucrative Legion circuit aware of the band, to create demand, and to avoid shelling out our own money on hare-brained promotion schemes. Like making demos. The hard facts are these Legions have gotten used to playing as little as $150 for a band and it sounds like it. My thinking is they could be prompted to spend a bit more for festive occasions. To do that, the crowd has to insist on quality.
