One year ago today: May 31, 2017, you can’t improve . . .
Five years ago today: May 31, 2013, remember the electric?
Nine years ago today: May 31, 2009, rebellion mode.
Random years ago today: May 31, 2011, $3,842.42 in five years.
We got one guitar player pissed off. I posted the video of the wrong directions he supplied (there are two roads with the same name a mile apart) strongly implying that he didn’t have the lerts to tell new people about that situation. But the real mystery was at the laundromat. See, the washer I was using began making a major racket half-way through. Myself and the choice babe that runs the place (sorry, happily married, story of my life) went through and could not find the source. It sounded like a metal object about the size of an egg. Emptied the washer. Nothing. Went through every pocket, inverted every sock. More of nothing.
It’s the only laundromat in the area, which unfortunately attracts a lot of homeless people and creeps. Don’t plug in your laptop or phone, watch your blue jeans. At 7:30AM I got a telemarketing call from Vancouver, Canada, in Cantonese. Turns out last week a friend of mine from Seattle was visiting up there and ordered the noon special on her smart phone. This, folks, is why smart people don’t use smart phones. The good news is, that company that is bringing back basic service starting next February is coming out with a ten dollar dumb phone. Can’t be traced, scrambles the PIN after each use, and blocks telemarket calls. Put in my order for five. This also means the government pressure to eliminate dumb phones has been forestalled, though we shall see.
I’ve got an audition this afternoon, so check back. The guy uses the same Fishman Solo 220 that I do, he was surprised to learn I play bass through mine. How peculiar that so many guitarists and vocalists do no know that all quality PA systems use bass speakers. They panic when I plug in. I say again that all “blown speakers” I’ve seen (except small radios and such) have resulted from guitar misuse, not bass notes. It’s when the guitarist plugs a pedal or some boosting device into a PA channel. Or once when I saw a singer plug a powered mic into a powered mixer into a PA. But they still fear bass, so that is why they are called myths. They die hard with the hoi polloi.
I decide this muggy after-storm day (humidity = heat index of 98°F) is perfect for installing the frame for my bathroom exhaust fan. Two hours later, I barely have the basic box built. The bathroom is off-square by an inch. Thusforth, I pulled all the nails and replace them with 3-1/2” screws, much easier to adjust afterward over unexpected dimension errors.
Dropping the fan into a false ceiling allows me to vent it out the side wall rather than start drilling holes through roof and shingles. Using the City Hall formula, this fan adds nearly $2,000 value to the house. My cost is less than $50. You may see small temporary shelves during WIP. These are necessary until cabinets are installed. There was no storage at all in the initial build. We will ignore that it often takes me an entire day to install one set of hinges.
This photo is a type that gets flak from some people I know. They don’t like anything that has hands or fingers in the foreground, where I consider it nearly a trademark of when I’m drawing attention to one part of the photo. Then last month, I get a head’s up on the possible reason. I had not considered that it was always lady friends who had the objection. What happened is I had a new objection and this time it hit me. They don’t like any suggestion, including pictures, that might indicate they were working alone. That made instant sense, although I see that it would not always be a conscious thing. It sure ties in with a few other behavioral deeds. But don’t you dare say nothin’ and I won’t either.
Ribblehead viaduct.
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The lowly 2x3”, the unhailed champion of closet renovations. In combination with my new chop saw, it makes closets a breeze. And boxes, I may have to dig out my booklets how to make things I never have enough of, like storage chests. Small chests, I mean. They rarely make tool boxes big enough any more to carry the accompanying extension cords, spare batteries, or cartridges of fasteners. And another technique I’ve never mastered is those electric cable clips. Even the short prong size is my enemy. I bend every second or third piece. The larger ones, forget it, I can’t even whack those in with a rubble mallet.
Why mention this when I played that song years ago? Simple. It is news today because I scanned the notes last Monday. And the riffs I had figured out by ear matched exactly. I’m not that good with playing by ear so I expected a few changes. Somehow I aced it. Anyway, once the gals catch on to the tune, I’ve often had them in a spontaneous leap to the dance floor. I know my system of placing a live mic out there also fires them up, but have not this round found a guitarist that does the material well enough for me to chance it. The guitarist has to be strong, since I get overwhelmed if all four mics are picked up at once. I have to stop playing momentarily.
ADDENDUM
Much later, I went through an audition that could go either way. Like most, he’s an older guy that once played in an amateur group so long ago he thinks it was last week. But my needs in a guitar player are not that much and he realized quickly he’s on to something. He could not directly play a lot of the patterns, but I recognized the ways his strumming was not responding to the instructions from his brain. It’s a bad habit but one that is surprisingly easy for some guitarists to conquer. We scheduled again for next Wednesday.
We played fourteen songs. Once again, they were songs the average guitarist never learns. He had the right attitude, surprising himself how well it sounded playing it my way. That’s important because it’s a situation where I sometimes get resistance. He showed a willingness to learn and realizes this is the real deal, if he gets off his duff he could be out gigging in a few weeks, and presenting some truly remarkable material. Every song is strummed differently, if only slightly, so there is work enough ahead.
He knows all the chords and has some theory, enough to stick to the circle of fifths. He was surprised a bit too often that there were slang terms for things he had never thought about. If he does the homework, like my ad says, I will guarantee he will be playing out within six weeks. You will never get a guarantee out of any other musician in these parts, mostly because they don’t have a clue about effective band management. No, playing solo gigs with a “live lesson” song list does not qualify. For that matter, it is usually counter-effective.
What carried the day was when he learned to even partially play the rhythm patterns. He was clearly amazed how well it sounded. Arranged music has that effect. Be assured, he wants to learn those strum patterns now. He didn’t balk when I played fills on the bass. I’m watching for how fast things pick up and what was supposed to be 90 minutes became three hours. It was sounding quite decent towards the end.
[Author’s note: before anybody quits their day job, there are some downsides to playing music the way I describe. To guitards, the most objectionable is that the guitar part sounds wrong when played solo. Although my method will make bad players sound great, it also prevents them from playing their best material. That trade-off has to be accepted or I just move on. Good or bad, the arrangement usually follows my preferences, which while not perfect are often the only ones present.
Another trade-off is my pressure to avoid the tendency to play some songs well and others so-so. The result of playing all the songs at a consistent level, to me, justifies this approach. That level is always far above and more versatile than any solo act by any standard. But it is not universal. Some duos actually manage to be worse than a good soloist.
Myself, I like my music to sound like I put a lot of effort into it.]
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