March 31, 2008

           First, say hello to Pudding-Tat, Empress of all she surveys. Note her throne is the spare speakers. Also shown is how she has used the speakers to sharpen her claws. People could say I’ve spoiled her, allowing such a thing to happen. I look at it another way. Do you have any idea what those cat posts cost at the store? Well, these speakers only cost me twenty bucks. So there.
           Financially the day was unsuccessful, but good salesmen are used to that. With Ramada (the company I work with, but not the Ramada you are thinking of), income is a function of time put in, not really skill. I have always been an amateur salesman as anybody who ever saw me around good women will handily testify. I’m learning to get pushy with the men who get their wives to call, where the wife can say she has to ask him and he “isn’t home right now”. (Remember that I’ve previously got her to state that she was the one who made the decisions. Lying has a different effect when women do it, or at least they like to think so.)

           Actually, I did have one sale, a small one. But the guy backed out during verification, which is nearly impossible to do. I am pitching the average client up to a half-hour each, well more than the ten minutes allocated. I often wonder, if I got the right product, what I could sell, and no, that is not the lament of every salesman. I don’t mean it that way. What I mean is a product where sales are dependent more on my calm presentation through all manner of emotional objections.
           One thing about the job is that it matches my circadian rhythm quite well. I mean that I don’t need any clocks or reminders to fit the schedule and I’m guessing I’ve used the correct term. For some reason, what I thought was a classical word is not in the Big Dictionary. By circadian, I mean the 24 hour cycle of light/dark wake/sleep. I don’t really use the term that often. How about you?

           I’ve negotiated the price on the new trailer to $18,000 depending on it passing a series of measurements and some questions. I need the meeting minutes and the land agreement, but apparently the land is owned by the trailer association, not an independent landlord. Still, I will need to see the ink. They cannot sell the land without offering it to the residents first. I do not know if that offer would be collective or individual. I know better than to count on a group of people to do anything but look for the easy way out.
           Who likes medical details? Not me. I was in for a checkup today and the blood pressure in my left arm is higher than in my right arm. Both are higher than they should be after years of no-stress and casual living. The reason I went in was to get a referral to a dermatologist. Ten years of Florida sun and bike riding has made me a little over-exposed. I just know that specialist is going to cost me. Since a blood test can show anything that ever affected me [anyway], I opted for that as well.

           There was discussion at the shop about the miracle million, the toothpicks. As it represents something no other person has ever done, we get occasionally to thinking of how to cash in on it. Without gambling (which is prohibited unless you own a big establishment) there is nothing easy about it at all. We need some major marketing that nobody around here knows how to do. To any newcomers, I own a display of one million toothpicks, the only known display in the history of the universe that contains exactly one million of anything hand-counted that you can see all in one layer. (All three conditions must be met.) Yes, I know about the pyramids, but the most you can see at once from the ground are two sides with (I estimate) merely 60,000 stones visible. Nowhere near a million.
           I’ve discovered a nasty way to infiltrate Internet postings. Like many hacks, it was the result of trying to correct one thing when another went wrong. It is also simple, so it will be exposed soon. Meanwhile, I am using it for a very specific purpose, which is to create hell with people who post jobs that do not quote the rate of pay. That particularly means the jerks who put “DOE”. Employers should add a table of what the different levels of experience [that they are seeking] each pay, or if they can’t do that, post a separate job listing for each level of experience sought. Another target is the people who post bill collecting jobs under “accountants and bookkeepers”. If you disagree, you may get a surprise you just were not expecting and you’ll have to find a whiz kid to bail you out.

           Oh, and yes, somebody did quickly figure out my last hack. You go in there and delete the anchor words that linked to flagging on Craigslist. You would still see the flagging box, but no words inside to click on. All I know for certain is that I could give you a list of people who did not figure it out.

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March 30, 2008

           This is not a bad sign to see on the way home. I’ll get to that in a bit. In case anyone needs reminding that advance planning pays off, the videos are now digitalized and they are remarkable. The errors are all over the place but can be easily edited out and the lo-hat is visible just often enough to make matching the tracks a snap. Of 119 minutes of footage, over half is production grade. I’ll probably use about half of that, so as soon as I have a few extra hours, and I’ve got a demo should I ever be asked for one.
           Chalk up a wasted afternoon. I’ll speak to Marcus about it, but the job interview he lined up was a sales seminar. I specifically told him in advance I was not interested except in a job interview. They had him convinced that anyone who didn’t sign up was “mentally retired”. Beyond that, it was the same old buyer’s club from the 1950s if anyone has parents who fell for that one. These don’t work and never will.because the “discounts” don’t apply unless you tell the merchant up front you have a card. Which is tantamount to tipping off a used car salesman you have a surprise trade-in.

           It was amusing at first, the way nothing has changed in decades. The pitch is still the tired “fear of loss/hope of gain” where they spend the first hour conditioning you that your job is a mindless rat race which you could escape by joining up. I balked at filling out the “profile” which was another set up anyway. (“What do you mean you don’t like it?”) I would have stayed for the second half except the boss man said he “didn’t understand” that I was not going to fill out any questionnaires. Wrong thing to say, chum. Guess I’m mentally retired, okay? My family income and number of leisure hours per week are not anyone’s concern, particularly not those who hold Sunday seminars in Florida.
           They want you to join the buyer’s club, then go out an recruit other members. Of course, they vehemently deny that this is MLM. Heaven’s no! But they would say that, wouldn’t they? It returns to the basics that if you can’t say up front what you are doing, then you are doing the wrong thing. I timed the speaker, she took 45 minutes to even mention a “membership” was involved.

           Since I didn’t go to Miami, that was the big event of the day. I toyed around with several video editing packages. Most of them only accept weird or unique formats that, of course, my capturing software does not use. Pinnacle is the only thing that will read Pinnacle, and it is one dumb piece of work. It regularly locks up your system until you reboot. It imports and names files what it pleases, and will overwrite your first file no matter what it is named. I lost an hours work just when I got something to mesh.
           In a marathon of pro forma planning, I must again conclude that the formulas used to determine retirement income are wonky. Why is it they say you need a million? It is more dependent on whether you have a place to stay that is paid for. (JZ’s sister’s (the other sister) house taxes are $7,500 per year, so a house is not necessarily a good plan either.) Take the simple example of Wallace and me. Between us we pay $1,980 in monthly rent. If we purchase the trailer we experience a direct dollar savings of $1,580 every month.

           That is more than the [projected] purchase price saved in rent alone in the first year ($18,960). I now distrust the formulas and trust my three years retirement experience. That is why I did the retirement experiment now, not when I turn 65. Ownership is paramount because without it, rent becomes the single most wasteful expense. For the extra $1,580 per month, we can order a lot of Chinese. It is not lost to me that the house is a limited risk and is probably far beyond the reach of any troublemakers. When you strip away the mumbo-jumbo from the equations, nothing beats a free place to live.
           Tell you what. If anybody can find me a comparable deal, I’d like to take a look. It must be two bedroom, clean, large, downtown in a popular city with low crime, quiet neighbors, two parking spaces, within a mile of beaches and warm year-round and cost less than $20,000. Oh yes, and it has to be in the US. Get looking, because if I had not been an avid bicycle rider, I would not have found the place myself.
           Thus, I will try to get a copy of the articles of the trailer park. The Canadians are leaving in droves, much like they arrived. The vultures are swooping in. Adam caught some guys measuring his hurricane shutters. He chased them away saying they are supposed to at least wait until people are gone before scrounging. Ha! Well, there are just a few of us left now. Jose across the way is very worried, he cannot find a place and has no credit.

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March 29, 2008

           Here is the totally retro kitchen in the new place. Pink cupboards? Nonetheless, you will notice everything is full size, not trailer size. This purchase is still being negotiated and I am considering approaching a bank. It is actually larger and nicer than the place I was raised in.
           [It was one] great day, although Craigslist has developed a series of safeguards. They now prevent folks like us from taking advantage of their system. Nadia called today and I gave her the bad news [that her ad of early 2005 could not be easily duplicated]. I’ll figure out how to display her logo (by publishing from a CL site that allows jpegs and linking to it) just meanwhile there is no time to fret over the fact that we cannot publish the same ad for her [business] as two years ago.

           Will I post at any cost? No. Music is the exception, I’ll bust my ass for hours to get something done in the music department, but otherwise it is not worthwhile. At the shop today, Marcus was present. Tomorrow is the meeting with the Euros. The Craigslist roadblock (fyi Craigslist was a simple post-your-email site from back in 1995) seems to block any photos. I can’t post all manner of fancy things, the way they have it set up. I’ll need time to program the work-arounds.
           Where is Wallace? The Florida radar says he is tied up out west. I biked past the [Florida] property today. I will not make a single move without approval from the Pacific side. I suppose I could move ahead on my own but the entire premise of such a large domicile was always dependent on teamwork, the team being Wallace and me. Wallace is understandably cautious to purchase “sight unseen”. I look at it this way: short of Wallace making an uneconomic trip out here, the decision rests on my judgment. I’m the one who becomes the judge. But it would be the cheapest that both of us have ever lived, averaging around $250 per month each for great accommodations.

           The performance recordings are remarkable. These are the shots taken at Jimbo’s last evening. I can’t help but notice that the footage almost suggests all those tacky special effects associated with rock videos, such as flashing lights and fog machines. I’m saying that I now believe it was some early video artist that thought up all those extras. The slow progression of changes to my act over the past year were imperceptible as time went by and it is nice to see how things add up. Compared to a lot of dry single acts in this town, I could get away with a lot more than I do.
           It is also a case study in things that can go wrong up on stage. There is one hilarious shot where my guitar cable gets underfoot while I’m working the lo-hat. I can’t do anything without shifting weight, which would mean interrupting the beat. I can watch myself hop into the air, kick the cable away, accidentally lower the volume pedal and set it back again before hitting the ground. To the observer, it looks like I am dancing. Gigs are tough on equipment, more when you have me jumping on things.

           I think I’ll build light boxes. I learned before I was a teenager that flashing lights on stage don’t have to match the music. Very few people can tell any difference Christmas tree flashers work just fine. It is just two extra boxes to carry and I use ordinary floodlights. Now, if I could only convince Wallace to take up drumming.

           [Author's note 2017: in the end I bought some lights that had a detector to randomly flash the lights to the beat of the music. Seriously, such things would have been too expensive when I was a kid. So just occasionally, I do see something new.]

           Last for today, I’ve concluded my study of Javascript. I am really not impressed and I will not get much use out of it unless something changes. Javascript is needlessly complicated for its limited capabilities and cannot rank with any serious scripting languages. It has a wanton appeal to near-programmers and explains why so many web pages are so repetitious. It brings nothing new or novel to the computer field, and in many ways is a retrograde step that ignores the lessons of experience. Trust me, no computer language since 1985 is “new” if it is fundamentally dependent on finicky punctuation, uses retard counting, and requires formatting to print ordinary strings.

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March 28, 2008

           This is a sculpture at Aventura Mall. It is bronze and I have no idea what the blue tape is all about. Maybe they are tracing bullet paths? This creation stands a good ten feet tall and made of bronze. So quit using it for target practice. You want people should think Miami-Dade is unappreciative of art?
           It looks like plan B for the recording. I was at Circuit City, BrandStupid, Walmart and A&B for a few, looking for that tape deck. Pardon my ignorance, but there appears to be no portable recording device on the market comparable to a good old tape deck. People are quick to advise me to use a computer (I don’t look like I’d know anything about them) but are equally quick to dodge a question of how that should be accomplished. One clerk at BrandStupid did mention an MP3 recorder.
           Is there such a device? I’d buy it right now, within reason. My largest task is creating and post-editing MP3s. What a boon it would be to record them directly without needing a computer. I will accept anything that works. Those slide-show picture frames will play MP3s, but you can’t pick which tune. Ideal would be a self-contained CD burner (or flash drive) but the manufacturing community is still feeding us crap.
           I couldn’t bring my camera to bear fast enough on what turned out to be a very interesting morning drive. So you don’t see the buzzards flocking in Miami Gardens or the retro Harley shop on 441. One curious thing, Workforce called and asked for my updated resume, which I will do Monday. During the conversation, I casually mentioned I was doing telephone work. The guy wanted to know where. I explained it was not my career nor something I would do for a living and not what I was looking for. But he would not let go. He got intense about knowing where I was working. Anyone know what that is all about? He would not accept my words that it was not something I wanted kept on file. (Now he’ll never know, but it goes to show you trusting types what your system is capable of.)
           Plan B works like so. I video the gig. Since I already play along to prerecorded tracks, it should be easy (by comparison) to overdub a true sound when I acquire a tape deck. Other musicians must be recording in studios, a most expensive avenue. I have the “A” songs on my list engineered to the “lush” format and it has already proven its worth. The sound is truly realistic. It will be a while yet, for the technology only works in real time and I’ll require 9,500 more minutes to convert my existing material.
           Later. Every screw-up made possible by being out of practice went wrong with the recording session. Not music, but video practice. Yet, because I used analog recorders, I think the final product has that attractivel early Beatles look to it. I declare the “Spider” song is making me more money than the rest put together. I am still learning this solo act trade. The crowd was aware of the cameras and spruced everything up. Remind me to install fake cameras in the future just to watch the antics.
           I lost money on the gig—but that’s okay, after playing bass for the Hippie, I’m used to it. The microphones needed batteries and I just found out they are $5 apiece at the convenience store. Rocker Reed was in and stood in with percussion. He wants to jam regularly, to which I’ve agreed so long as he only uses a snare and hat. When he gets behind a full kit, he “turns 21 again”.

March 27, 2008

           See the Sony? This is a DVD burner. Everyone knows a DVD burner will burn a CD. Except Sony, who have proven themselves the sneakiest liars in the trade. You’ve got to watch those bastards. See the symbols that indicate DVD-R/RW, CD-R/RW and DVD+R? This unit will not burn anything except certain DVDs and it is unreliable for that. So I put a CD in there. It does not even recognize a CD without a computer. Thus, although this is a burner, you are supposed to know some of the symbols mean it will only read that media (unless you go get a computer).
           I was trying to get something done, so don’t expect much happy news today. First, I was over Nadia’s to discover her tape deck has no input jacks, it only records from the internal CD or radio. A Sony, of course. Sony will tell you what to record. I tried most of the local stores for a tape deck. When the staff at Radio Shack says, “What’s that?” you just know how much help you are going to get out of them.

           New decks are available on-line. After a morning of chasing around, I remembered that useless Sony VRD-VC-20 had RCA input jacks on the back. It should be a simple matter to hook up the burner minus the video and record direct to disk. Wrong. I even tried to trick an input signal by continuously recording the menu from the disk display. No way. When will I learn my lesson to avoid Sony products completely?
           I may drive out to BrandStupid for a look since you can never tell what they have from their website. Otherwise, there may be no recording session tomorrow. I’ll leave it dependent on this evening’s sales. One sale, I do nothing. Two sales, I buy a tape deck. Three and I replace the DVD player with a unit I tested at Radio Shack.

           [Author's note 2019: I kept this piece of equipment on the premise that even if does not do what was intended, newer products tend to be "detuned" to prevent certain copying features. If you know what I mean. This unit appears to have a feature to record movies directly to disk from a Sony camera. Like the one I'm using these days. Allow me some time to find out if they are compatible. According to the manual they are, but we are dealing with Sony.
           If it works, the new Sony camera has an extremely high pixel setting that I've never used. Is opportunity about to knock?]

           Later. It looks like the tape deck wins, I had two sales. That does not reveal the entire story, for I had two California sales. One was most interesting. Our office script contains a description of swimming with dolphins. Today one of my clients had a personal story of dolphins to the rescue. He was sailing in the Catalina area when a huge storm caused 20 foot swells. A rope broke and he had no hope of repairing it under such conditions.
           Suddenly twenty dolphins appeared and began circling his sailboat, causing a phenomenon called a “still”. The boat rose gently up and down, but did not heave. This allowed a repair of the line, and shortly afterward, the dolphins swam away. This occurred in an area near Catalina that I am familiar with.

           Because such things are easy for me to do, I had a chat with the manager and bass player of King Jupiter. This is the group suspected of doing the excessive flagging on line. It turns out they are not responsible and have themselves been constantly flagged. Their posts only survive because they repeatedly replace them. So now, we are back at square one, up against an ordinary pack of malicious flaggers, again I still suspect it is a group due to the nature of the flagging. Let me think what I can do to draw them out.

           This French guy wants to borrow my trailer. Should I? They seem harmless enough but the trailer is not registered. One does not have to register such things, but still. Is this an opportunity? My wise old grandpappy never seems to be around when I need advice. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that he died when I was two.

March 26, 2008

           Look at the lineups at Best Buy now that CompUSA has signed its last service contract. The six mile bike ride this morning took five hours. I wound up at Aventura Mall. The other local electronic shops don’t have cassette recorders and eBay is not fast enough for my needs. Those who know this town will not be surprised to learn that when I got to the top of the escalator, sure enough, Radio Shack is gone. Just when I was actually going to buy something there.
           Smugly, I point out that I got around by bicycle faster than the traffic today. People, if you can’t drive, you should not get steamed when nobody else can either. Aventura Mall has a single theme for their kiosks. None of them sell anything useful. Stuffed toys for $35 a pop, anyone?
           On the way home, I read a series of articles concerning retirement. I’ve been planning my own retirement since I was 24. Only in the past three years do I have any experience at it. I decided to see if the authors had changed anything. The answer is no, but something is drastically wrong with the notion that the average person needs $2,000,000 to retire and have a decent life. That simply cannot be true, or most people would never retire. The first thing I noticed is said books are written by mutual fund managers.
           Instead, I ran the numbers of known facts that would affect the retirement here in Florida. It just does not match the published material. No way will I require $800 per month for “dining out” nor do I have any intention of spending $10,000 per year on “gifts and donations”. This ain’t the Ford Foundation. The calculations of the so-called experts are completely out of whack with proven reality. Their premise is to “preserve your lifestyle” but quite frankly, I want my retirement lifestyle to simplify things. What are they talking about that you need an annual income of $100,000 to retire? It just isn’t so.
           I am already considerably better off than when I worked all week by merely being able to avoid the incidentals of work. While H.D. Thoreau is a little too rustic for me, he does have some revealing thoughts on people who work their entire lives just to retire. My thinking has changed and today I hope I never retire. Retirement ain’t worth the trouble it takes. Put another way, if you are a boring jerk with no life or hobbies today, retirement is not going to change any of that. But you will feel right at home at Starbucks.
           Who remembers Nadia? The gorgeous, the gorgeous, did I say gorgeous babe from the Thrift who got a job at the fancy country club. She called today. Okay, guys, remember that movie about Van Helsing(?) who prevents Dracula from capturing Frankenstien (yes, it is a real movie)? Think of the brunette babe in that movie with those incredible foundation garments. Yep, except our Nadia has all that for real. By coincidence, she is also Hungarian. I see I’ve perked up a few ears. Let me put it this way. I am telling you for an unexaggerated fact that if you lined up the world’s ten thousand most beautiful women, she would be among them.
           Nadia needs more computer advertising done and in exchange she has got a little something for me. I hear a few of you wondering why I’m so thrilled to hear from a happily married woman. That’s easy to explain. She’s got a beautiful little box and she says tomorrow I can look at it. If it works properly, I can borrow it to tape my show this Friday.
           Later, work is still new enough that I can mention it with novelty. A blonde lady co-worker strikes up a conversation with me. What is wrong with this picture? Okay, she is shacked up with an army dude, both semi-employed. They are apparently living in a motorcycle trailer because their house failed inspection and was condemned. She has been eating canned Ravioli for a few days. She can’t get welfare because she is white, under 50 and has no children. So basically, she had to get a job. Isn’t that just something? There’s more.
           Some famous drug bust occurred in Miami around 1981. In Miami fashion, a baby girl was dragged 92-1/2 feet by a car. It was her and she has ½ an elbow left to prove it. She also has a front tooth knocked out by the boyfriend and the replacement “cost twenty-three hundred dollars”. It is her nicest although too bad she can’t eat with it installed, really. Normally I have no pity for married women (they didn’t ask me about their choices) and as long as they are still with the guy, I don’t feel responsible for anything that happens to them. Tomorrow I’ll bring her a batch of the homemade chicken rice with spiced pork and my special mandarin orange sweet and sour sauce I made this morning. I froze up lots of extra.
           I sold zilch today, the whole office was quiet all night. The closers have the theory that America’s IQ drops to 50 after 8:00 PM. They are probably not that far off. I lost my one sale today when the guy went ballistic saying he didn’t know I was going to put it on his credit card. We are still unsure how he missed giving me his name as it appears, the card number, CVV code and expiry date. What? It’s that three digit code on the back of the card you use for telephone verification.
           I am going to cook (record over with blanks) most of the video tapes from the Hippie era. He has called a few times over the years, but never offered any money or assistance, possibly because he has no idea how much technical work is involved, not to mention the expense of driving out there and setting up the cameras. It will be a bit of a pity to also destroy the tapes of Brian Khe San and that Danny guy, but they are both also very Hippie-like in their stinginess. The blank tapes wasted on that crowd alone are worth over $80 I’ll never see again. But unlike some people, I will soon have a demo.

March 25, 2008

           A package of Maxwell House coffee, my brand. Coffee is imported and the sale price is an all time high of $5.19. This represents the pent up inflation and devaluation of the dollar that has been staved off by Washington trickery past the point of no return. American, we are in for it now. I bought two packs [of the coffee], since you know about my budget for necessities. Most people don’t, and necessities slay them every month. Tomorrow I have a scheduled review of these things, so you might want to return then for some eye-openers.
           I’m admitting temporary defeat. There is a sharp group on the Internet that seem to know a countermeasure to everything I do. Well, what is it I do that attracts such attention? I’ve already hinted at it, I teach people how to protect themselves from the nasties out there. One of the perpetual problems with Craigslist is when people figure out how to group flag with multiple accounts. You can’t prevent all flagging, but often the simplest tactics can defeat your average computer user.
           How do I know it is a group? That’s easy. It physically takes time to bring up a post and flag it with each fake account. When three or four flags occur within a half-minute, you are outnumbered. One person with many computers would gain nothing by moving so fast. Also, the flags occur within moments of a new post and always during school hours.
           Another indicator is the speed at which they can react to new situations. Somebody smart enough by themselves is not going to sit there all day. But a group of brats could easily form exactly such a group. The only reason I don’t is because I have no peers that know enough. I’ve joined too many clubs where I was the only one who knew how to do things and others joined to get the knowledge without paying for it.
           So congratulations on this round, whoever you are. The larger your group, the greater the chances one of you will make a mistake. We know who you are connected with and that is who I will be watching. It is also known that groups like yours have a very fragile and brittle structure.
           To continue a so-so day, I stopped in at the pawn shop on Hollywood Blvd. No bargains in there at all. They had a used Ernie Ball swell pedal for $129 that sells new for $101. My quest was a tape deck, one of those old Radio Shack singles that produced fantastic quality studio sound. Nothing, not now that I’m needing one. I called around and nobody’s got anything like that. How do they record their live music? That is a loaded question – you can record live music digitally if you have expensive enough equipment, but the reasonably priced rigs will always let you down. Many musicians will confirm this. I want an good old analog tape which I will digitalize later.
           Closest with gear was Cowboy Mike. He has a Tascam that is overkill for what I want so I declined the offer. He says the Radio Shack (Realistic) models are available for $79, which is twice what I’m looking to spend for limited usage. Especially since it was a terrible day for sales, which sure, I’ll tell you about in a moment.
           Wallace has to move before May 1, and so do I. This is coincidental bad luck, more because he has to go on that Alaskan cruise on May 10. There is no way he is enthusiastic about that. Still, I don’t want him to fly here and stay less than two months this time, preferably for three so he can climatize (and experience a Florida summer). I will make the final cash offer on the new place tomorrow, meaning anything beyond that I will need time to pay.
           This does not look like a good time to have a mortgage. Price is everything in that market when times are good. Cost is everything now. House prices locally are falling 19% per month, which I hope happens for another four months. (Careful to account for compounding, meaning a $200,000 house would drop to just under $79,000, not $10,000.) I say their troubles have only begun and one can only wonder which paper fortunes that are melting away each moment.
           These people deserve to suffer, don’t get me wrong. They conspired to borrow their way to wealth and their merciless greed forced house prices out of the range of honest people. Stealing is stealing. If you are looking for a lack of sympathy, look at their behavior for the past four decades, not today.
           I had one small sale today, and I almost lost that due to a co-worker with a bad attitude. There is a lot of abbreviated communication in the room, which is dumb, but a fact. Around a week ago I lost a sale because a verifier started grilling me. Today, she tried it again. Customers find it easier to hang up on hold music meaning I dislike delays. For some loco reason, she takes up to 6 minutes to take over a call, which others do in less than 30 seconds. Latricia, that’s her name. Probably has brothers named Latrick, and Laul. The verifiers are big on the name game. There is a Latasha over there, too.

March 24, 2008

           It is a concrete slab made to look like diamond. Purists will notice the crown and bezel are the wrong shape. In theory it welcomes drivers to the City of Hollywood. In practice, it can only be seen by drivers leaving town. Another triumph of Florida brainwork. The concrete would be better employed filling the potholes of Dixie Highway shown in the background.
           I collected paycheck number one from the new job. It is pure commission and I’ve noticed that has the peculiar effect of making the people who work there somewhat more free with their money than you get from workers who are paid a flat rate per hour. This job will definitely do until something better comes along. I’ve also noticed that the further west the sun goes, the more likely the callers are to just hang up on you at the first hint of a sales pitch. Can’t say I blame them.
           Once again, I met the sales quota and have already noted my weak areas. I have trouble asking for money between $100 and $800. Any other amount I can get. For this range, I seem to need a second voice on the phone to do the close. It would appear that my performance is enough to always have someone there to do the closing for me. For some reason, and this should not be analyzed, people hang up when I ask them for money exactly the same way I always have. Who knows?
           What is certain is that Wallace called today and is interested in the new trailer, dubbed “Wally World”. It would be wrong to consider this any kind of spontaneous purchase. Wallace has mentioned the possibility of living in Florida for years and this is an excellent chance to do that well within budget. Also, Wallace and I have shared a place long term before out on the west coast and we have many common interests. This adventure is more like the next predictable event in a series.
           Get this. Wallace reports a decent place back west will set him back $1,300 per month. Ouch! That eats up a lot of cash really fast just for a roof and four walls. A place here, with everything needed and plenty to do every day costs less than a quarter that amount. I haven’t yet told him the new place has a dishwasher.
           Some zero lady was in the shop today trying to sell us an MLM scheme. What a laugh that was. I mention her because these people are getting a little too pushy for me. First she asks me if I want to make $20,000 per month. Judging by the way she was dressed, I should have asked her when she last made that much per year. Anyway, she denied it was MLM but then said I would have to “recruit” people. Something to do with hits on a web site. I mumbled that lawyers don’t make $20 grand a month. Instead of saying she had proof otherwise, she asked if I was a lawyer. Trying to turn my own words back on me never works. No, but I’ve done income tax returns for them, lady.
           The point is, you see how she was pushy and dodging every question. Then, she tried to get all of us to sign up in support of something, which involved giving her basically enough information to do a credit check. At that point I discovered I had an emergency call coming in and had to cut her off. That was clever, mind you, asking me if I was a lawyer as a comeback to what I said. I would appreciate the tactic even more if she had come up with it on her own.
           You get the short report today, since I needed an extra hour to go over the new paycheck. They have a complicated pay schedule. I see now that it is well-designed to keep people going along. I usually make enough each day to survive so the whole enchilada goes into the bank on payday. Best part of the job is I work just 28 hours per week, more only if I want. That’s fair. Without saying too much, I made over $200 more per week than I required, which was a very rare event back when I had a steady paycheck. That is correct, I was worse off when I worked a full week at my former career. I believe I once asked already, but did you know medieval peasants only worked a 20 hour week?
           I did respond to an ad today for someone to proofread internal memos for a hedge fund management company. They are just asking for too much in this part of the globe, but clearly they need a writer, or at least someone who can keep reports consistent over a large segment of their operations. I would not have come forward, but what they described was rare enough to fit my qualifications to a tee. It is not the kind of position for anyone who cannot express ideas in perfect English. There’s a lot of them out there.

March 23, 2008

           Here is half the living room of the place I’m looking at. Looking is all I can do right now. It is big.
           Jimbo’s was right, it is unwise not to have a recording of my “Not Half Bad” show. It still has to be done right. Not being tired, I was up until 3:30 AM planning the shoot. This should be the best planned two-camera work I’ve ever done, possibly some three-camera if the files prove compatible. This also got me to revitalize a lot of gear I have not used in years. As soon as I borrow an old cassette tape deck, I’m in business. The audio goes through the Gigrack PA.
           I also put Pinnacle through advanced testing, to discover that you have to be around to turn the thing off or it wrecks your disk, just like a Sony. That is, if you are not present when the input device (usually a camcorder) herringbones or goes into rewind, you just wasted an entire recording session. Why these companies are such dorks is mysterious.
           Pinnacle does not have a decent overlay generator. All the good features require buying activation keys. Don’t you hate software companies that do that? I found a DVD disk of the last major practice session with the Hippie with Brian and me. If you want proof why that band didn’t last, watch that recording. His idea of a band is you learning his versions of everything. This was also the only time we really practiced with a drum box and he is really bad at it, constantly complaining the speed was wrong. (It seems to be a generic complaint of those who don’t like drum machines. Second most common is saying it has the wrong beat.) He also continually questions bass lines that are beyond correct.
           I will say again, that claiming a drum machine inhibits expression is the mark of a hard-head. Changing speed on stage is probably the least effective and most amateurish of techniques. Following along, you see the Hippie finds something wrong with every last innovation except his own. It was shortly after this I decided I could do better myself. I now play to 100% recorded tracks and have not one of his predicted problems with speed, timing, audience appeal, diversity or presentation.
           Marcus called to cancel the meeting this afternoon. Everybody forgot this was Easter. Things are postponed for a week, and he is still reluctant to say what the product is. That could be a good thing. He was in for the shift y’day and made only $45. Those are what is called a “decline” or just a “deek”, meaning the buyer’s credit card didn’t hold anything (was over the limit) but they still bought for a commission of $11.25.
           Several forgotten tapes from Venezuela, including shots of my wrecked taxi (hit while parked in a shopping center) are finally burned to DVD. This is still a touchy undertaking that seems to go wrong the moment you turn your back on it. The most recent tapes are from late 1999. There are shots of Ivan and I going over repair receipts. The jerk who hit our car had a rich daddy who took forever to pay. I had to fix his attitude late one night, but even then we only got half the money before I left.
           I’ll try to get some stills from these fairly fascinating one-of-a-kind videos. How many Americans do you know drive along the Orinoco in their own taxi with the driver singing “Last Kiss” in Aztec? Too bad I was so broke in those days, there were so many opportunities I had to pass up. The beautiful streets we drove along have since been bought up by Arab merchants. (The Orinoco has some of the last good waterfront property left on the planet.). There are pictures of the fantastic house I did not buy because I didn’t have $8,000 on me.
           The rain has kept me indoors for two days, which is when the most tape burns to DVD take place. If it rained long enough, I’d be producing full-length movies. (It has been raining nearly a day and a half.) Strange, [there is] no word from Wallace. Maybe because he’s on his way here to see the new place? If I don’t put a finance package together, then it is entirely possible I’ll be leaving Florida.
           Meanwhile, here’s trivia. Apparently a game of billiards, called a “match”, can involve walking up to three miles. Double that if your beer is back over on the bar. Triple that if there is a bass player nearby and you can get in each other’s way. That is is nearly 16,000 feet and quite a hike which means pool is a sport for serious athletes. It explains why their champions have nicknames like “Minnesota Slim”.
           Last, when I went to pick up my gear at Jimbo’s today (because it was raining so bad I had to leave it there on Friday), the Troll made two requests for my next show. This is astonishing, no less astonishing than if the Hippie were to ask me for a Periodic Table of the Elements. The requests were for the Spider song and the Henry song. Goes to show you.

March 22, 2008

           Serious flooding. This photo shows a blocked street with water over two feet deep. Go for a swim if you’d like, the weather is quite warm and muggy out there. I’ve told you how the more intense the rain, the shorter it lasts in Florida. Not today. It has been coming down hard for nearly five hours and no sign of a letup. The low areas always flood but today they are staying flooded. Here’s my tale of woe. The Taurus is full of “safety” features and one of them, I forget already, but you finally get so pissed off at it that you pull the fuse. Problem, this fuse is also the alarm for accidentally leaving your headlights on. Way to go, there Ford!
           Dead batteries always get my goat. Why do they still even build a car battery that can drain completely. In this age of fifty-cent electronic gadgets, Ford really shows their ignorance. It would be so simple to put a cutoff switch that always leaves enough juice to start the car. But no. I had to get a boost in the rain.
           The word on the street is that there is a new European company recruiting salespeople, and it would seem they have already heard of my performance. Sales, that is, not music. Dang. Anyway, there is a meeting tomorrow afternoon and I’m invited. My contact, who will not tell me anything about the company, just says to wear a suit and tie. In case you are wondering, I always wear a suit and tie to work. I’ve already noticed that I get 12 rejects for every sale, telling me I work too hard for the money. The other people say that ratio is normal and I’m doing well for so new at it. That isn’t the issue. So I’ll go see what is so hush-hush tomorrow.
           Regarding ethics, I don’t really care what they are selling. Some of you may note that is a real change in my character. Yes. Recall a few months back the blog about the world’s youngest billionaire, the Enron salesman? The guy was a crook shyster, and now he’s a hero and a role model. There is not a salesman alive who doesn’t know when his product is worthless. Yet, he clearly got away with it and I am clearly learning to look selling from another point of view.
           It is now mid-afternoon and there is a roaring rainstorm going on. I’m snug inside with my coffee, make mine a Maxwell House. The European coffee did not deliver and now I know where Starbucks is getting their beans. The coffee has a somewhat sandy dry taste, as if something has been added for flavor during the roasting. It is not bad but nor can it compete with the real thing. If you notice Starbucks’ coffee has an edge to it, that’s what I mean. Almost as if they bought it from some salesman because he was wearing a suit and tie.
           The storm saga continues. I decide to go get groceries and found some fat free mayonnaise. I’ll try that, and it was in a glass jar which is unusual these days. It was twice as expensive as regular mayo but zero fat. I had to drive miles out of my way to get around the flooding and when I pulled up here, of course the rain got worse. That is because I had to carry groceries inside, see? Naturally I grab everything in one hand to make one trip. Are you with me? Nine bags of groceries in one hand? I get up to the door soaking wet and my grip loosens on the plastic bags. Guess which bag fell and guess what broke.
           If you like this day in history, it has been 29 years since I’ve seen snow. Can’t say I miss it. I’m finally able to report some success with the Pinnacle video recording system. This does not let that company off the hook for their biggest shortcoming: problems that are not mentioned in the user manual. I estimate I’ve likely put in several hundred hours getting the thing to work, and that was not part of the deal when I bought the material. The interest in video is because I’ve been reprimanded for not having any footage of my act. That is correct. My unique single electric bass show has never been recorded. My cameras suitable for that project require 8mm tapes. I’ve got 52 of these tapes.
           Why 52 of these tapes? I can explain. Because I can’t get the raw data onto DVDs, I have to buy a new tape whenever I need to make a new recording. What is supposed to happen is a burn the tape to a DVD and use the tape over again. Question—why do they call it a video editing computer when I still have to go get my camera to replay anything? It should have a tape deck built in to one of the bays.
           I’ve produced some fairly sophisticated DVD movies and documentaries. Anyway, I am now burning much of the material direct to DVD, freeing up the tapes, and the plan is to get some recordings of my gig, probably next Friday. May I point out that Blogger still will not upload videos as claimed. Otherwise, you might see something of my show here. As it stands today, there are not even any still photos of my act.

March 21, 2008

           Yes, it is a good Friday. I was getting ready to drive all the way to BrandStupid in Miami to purchase a new DVD player. Then I thought, what about that dinosaur clunker I bought third hand at the Ft. Lauderdale armories five years ago? It is so old and over-built that I had never checked for MP3 capability. It weights around eleven pounds and uses a computer power transformer. Be damned. I just saved $200. I’m rigging it up to the PA system for a full test even as we speak.
           Got it. Works perfect. It has crystal clear sound and a better bass response which I’ll have to EQ out. What’s more, it uses a Microsoft file index so I can group tunes into folders for faster access. It picks up the fat electronics, which I call the “lush” versions a little better, too. It does, however, demand spotlessly clean disks at all times and can only be worked with the remote control device. Yeah, but to save $200, I’ll suffer.
           Have I sparked some interest with the lush technology? It is simple if you know what you’re doing. My PA is mono, not stereo, if you recall the decision I made over that at time of purchase. Most of the MP3 music is stereo, which gets played back as mono. I thought, why waste the capability? I’m essentially playing each tune twice at the same time, which “fattens” up the sound. Strange as it seems, some of the file sizes are smaller than before. The downside is you cannot put both versions on a single disk or you get some real surprises up on stage.
           A couple hours later I can report complete success with the DVD. This means I’m leaving to set up early to do an afternoon hour or two live. Get ready for the evening show, where I have been tipped off there will be a talent scout in the audience. Good thing I know any new faces that walk in.
           You want to hear something else interesting? German television. I have a recording of a documentary that includes the German commercials. Hubba hubba. They have real babe actresses, not the gimptard American-style insist frumpy housewives are people too crapola. I’m saying it is definitely worth a look, but you’ll have to figure out for yourself how to get German television.
           It would also seem that I’ve learned that when asked at Jimbo’s for “that song”, they mean “Spiders and Snakes.” If the purchase of the larger place works out, I will also shack up with the next unattached blonde babe that walks into Jimbo’s. She will scarce believe her good fortune. She gets the package deal.
           Later. A good night for tips, including a twenty in there. Steak again tomorrow. The new device has a different envelope and it is almost too clear-sounding for the job. I will have to re-engineer all my music to put a larger gap before and after, since this unit begins playing almost instantly. (No time to set down the remote and get ready to pick. Also, it always jumps to the next song and this feature cannot be turned off. Fortunately, I am in the process of revamping the tunes so the burden is diminished.
           Where were the holiday crowds? This town can be odd that way. Plus, the police make sure nobody can have a completely relaxed time after dark and occasionally they catch a bad guy. The guy that was supposed to drop by to see my act never showed.
           I do not work on Fridays. I could, but I don’t. The catch is that Friday is also payday. That means I can’t tell you what I made last week. The pay structure is a bit convoluted. Nothing clears it up like the close examination of a paycheck. I have the option to work 3 till 8 on Saturdays which is not a bad deal at all. If I have a slow day at the shop, maybe I can pick up an extra sale. If I don’t go in on the weekend, it is a 28 hour work week. Suits me fine and I’m getting better at it.

March 20, 2008

           See the size of the palm tree. Now that’s one healthy looking piece of shade. Say goodbye to it while you’re here.
           I looked into the new trailer, now labeled “Wally World”. The single most attractive part of the location is that it is zoned differently than this one. Stay close while I explain. This land was sold out from under me because this land was zoned for multi-family homes and it was economically feasible to build condos here. Both conditions had to exist. Nobody would dare trying to build single-family homes in this area because the price would be double that of comparable places a mile north.
           My thinking is to buy the new unit. Not only is it more than comfortable for two people, the layout means the only common area is really the living room and dining room, with the second bedroom forming an almost self-contained suite. While the fixed cost is higher, the pad rent is comparable and the place could easily be shared without tripping over each other like this joint. There is just one bathroom, but the place is large enough to address that problem in a variety of ways, especially considering the unit rests on a concrete foundation with a large crawl space. Wallace has been updated with all but the newest information concerning all this.
           Tomorrow I replace the band DVD player. Sales were brisk enough and are now predictable enough that I can afford it. Good, because I did not know Good Friday was this weekend. I have not been working long enough to let the concept of weekend creep back into my lifestyle. Oh, may I state that I sold a package to a Hindu? From Canada? It was like pulling teeth, but I sold him the entire package. Only those who have tried this can appreciate the feat.
           Mike and I gave up trying to get a laptop to work for my gigs. It would seem easy to fire up something that I could use on stage, but no. Laptops are built for dummies, and so is the software. After 16 hours of work, done only because we had the spare time, we gave up trying to use an IBM Thinkpad. It is anything but easy to operate because you can’t turn off the features designed for ignoramuses. Among the major problems were the unpredictable lag time to start playing, difficulty getting all the file names to stay displayed on screen (and not move around, maximize, or overlap each other) and worst, a media player pop-up after each song. That popup seemed to just know where to block what you had to see next. There is no time during a live performance to contend with such nonsense.
           Hmm, what’s this then? The French daughter is next door, so she didn’t go back yet. I don’t stand a chance but she sure is easy on the eyes. The brother keeps a close eye on her, and that is only right. When I’m practicing music, she walks back and forth past my window. Sorry, no pictures for you.
           Work is the dominating element for now. I’m meeting the quotas but it is not a long term candidate unless the packages become much easier to sell. I’ve sold before and for the same effort, one should be making twice the money. Since that will never happen there, I keep an ear to the ground. First, there is an adult teaching academy in Hallandale looking for teachers and I will have more particulars soon. Two, Marcus, the guy who told me about this job, says he knows of a place where the commissions are higher.
           Marcus is one of my regular customers from the shop. He spends around $60 per month on my computers, so he is also a top customer. They let him work the hours he pleases, which is usually from 8 to 11 at night. He makes the same money as me in half the time. Hey, he’s been there five years. There are several other people in the place who have also been in my shop, including some of the higher-ups. Most of the senior people are closers, and I have a total dependency on them as a team to make my sales. What’s happening is I’m losing a third of my calls at the moment I ask for their credit card information.
           I use the proven script and imitate the intonation of the closers, but there is some psychologically pothole at this precise point. I suspect it is because I’m more used to asking people directly for money, that is, where the pitch means buy it now or you lose the discount, I must come across as take it or leave it. I now turn all my callers over to a closer at that point but the losses continue as there is a one-minute dead air time on that.
           Last for today, folks, I need to flash a message to some people out there. Folks, you did not receive any free money from us. It is a coupon that gets activated when you buy our product. If you don’t have $66.50 to your name, should you be calling about a free Caribbean cruise? Fact number one: you have to arrive near the boat; we don’t send it to Arizona to get you. Vacations cost money. M-O-N-E-Y. You may think you deserve a holiday because you work so hard; the rest of the world disagrees.
           Make that second last for today. Call to mind my question over the meaning of “Characters Wanted”. This is an oft-repeated phrase at the end of many television ads for upcoming programs. I’d look up when I heard it, like, it you want characters I’ll give you all you want for the right fee. Anyway, after a week of searching it turns out nobody else around here seems to know what it means either. (Since it is more than one word, you can’t Google it, way to go there Brainiacs.) One person has suggested it is a call sign for the television station, something like “Built Ford Tough”. Except, it does not make sense.
           There was a documentary about hidden meanings in the Bible. Something to do with encoded word spacings. My question is if these ancient people knew so damn much, why did they bother with codes? Only a few of them needed fear any prosecutions so why not just come out and say it? I ask, “What is with all the secret codes already?”
           Comes the reply, “Characters Wanted.”

March 19, 2008

           There is only one March 19, 2008 and you just knew if you stuck around long enough, something would happen. Wallace has been in touch. It would be smug of me to point out that I don’t have any problems with money-hungry acquaintances, so I won’t say anything about that. Hell no, my relatives stole all my money before I was 16. Take a gander at this "triple-wide". The land is zoned single-family, so it is relatively safe from condo poaching.
           I glanced at it, but don’t be fooled. It is a few blocks north of here and the pad rental is a mere $27 more than I already pay. It seems shabby but you are not looking closely enough. It is a double-wide and a prefab Florida room onto one lot. I doubt one could get away with that today [because of zoning restrictions]. All are resting on a concrete pad which you can see painted red where the front steps begin.

           It has several entrances, a patio and must have at least two bedrooms. If it is a matching set, it is a weird design. Anyway, I’m appointed to take a look tomorrow morning. I don’t care as much the price as about the monthly cost of occupancy. If there are, in fact, three bedrooms, my guess is it will cost $300,000 less than a house [in this area], and I will gladly tie up more fixed capital as a trade for less monthly maintenance.
           Keep focused that this property is in the pleasant area of French-Canadiens as is the existing trailer. This turned out, now that I have experience, to be nearly a miracle. Not because they are nice [hardly], but because they don’t dare step out of line. I have already cleared all this with Empress Pudding-Tat I, that due to budget cut-backs she will be required to patrol a larger perimeter for the same quantity of food pellets. I won’t tell you where I learned this manner of thinking because the phone company wouldn’t like that.

           It was another successful day at work. Afterward, mistakenly thinking that Jake’s pub had a Blues jam tonight, I walked in to find a familiar Karaoke group. The night was young. Take it at face value, but I won a t-shirt for being the best vocalist. Slate that as somewhat of a first.
           Here is an interesting thought. If witchcraft is real, why are there still tax collectors?

           [Author's note 2017: I believe this is the first mention and picture of Wally's Folly. This is the place, that if he had kept his word, he would right now be living in paradise for free and collecting a thousand a month rent off this place. But, he had some screwball impression his family came ahead of his promises, and in the end his family are a bunch of greedy jackpine savages. Real estate will never collapse here again in his lifetime, and even if it did, he doesn't know anybody except me with the brains to find the best way to take advantage of it. If he had done what he said, his net worth by now would be around $103,000--and that's healthy US dollars.]

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March 18, 2008

           I can’t do better close-ups with the Argus, but this is a bottle of vanilla flavoring from Madagascar. If I’m not mistaken, that is where vanilla originally came from. This tiny bottle retails for $10.49. The label says pure vanilla extract, but the ingredient list shows it also contains water, 35% alcohol and corn syrup. Since there is a consistent markup on everything imported to the USA of around 27 times the manufacturing cost, meaning this product as shown is produced for just under 39 cents.
           Now that the coffers have opened up a little, I’m okay with shopping for a few extras. I tried this European Blend organic shade-grown coffee. I also made it over to Panera for a study session. Another perfect Florida day, with the wind from the east at 10.3 mph. You know these things when you ride a bicycle. The coffee was less than perfect, I’ll stick with Maxwell House.

           The laptop saga continues. I’ve been through two broken hard drives. Laptops are an easy fix. They have around nine components that either work or don’t work. I’m trying to get Win2000 into a Win98 computer, a sort of poor-man’s upgrade. For some reason this seems to require a (relatively huge) 6GB hard drive. I need the drivers from 2000 to run my musical show or I have to buy a new DVD player before Friday.
           Speaking of music, the “fattening up” of the music is going really well. When I electronically remove the bass lines, the remainder can sometimes suffer a thin or reedy sound. I’m punching up the mid-range to put the oomph back in. The way I do this is technically an error.
           Roland, the neighbor, is heading back tomorrow. He came by to say his son will be staying at the trailer for a few more weeks. His 31 year old son, not his 21 year old daughter. Can’t have it all. In a few days, there will be less than five of us left here. I still make it a point to watch real estate prices, monitoring the lowest prices in the area for all types of single family dwellings. Mind you, in Florida, townhouses and condos, where many families live, are found by the same search, so I specify a free-standing structure on a lot by itself with the land included.

           What a disaster out there. Prices are dropping fast. I noticed there are places in Ft. Lauderdale at $100,000. This hasn’t happened in years. Now, these aren’t the best houses, but neither were the huts I was raised in. And they beat a lot of the hotels I’ve lived in overseas. Nor would I have to spend half a lifetime paying for them. If I had a $60,000 mortgage (what I think is the true worth of a used house anywhere in this area), let me run the numbers. For ten years the payments would be $636.36 per month. I’ll keep an eye on that. A comparable shack in Colorado today costs around $45,000, but Colorado has this ghastly thing called “winter”.
           Back to Javascript. I’m looking far closer at several sub-topics. It turns out I have a library of scripts on disk. I mentioned that Javascript is used for shopping carts. Well, it seems they use cookies to accumulate the sales information. Let me say this about that. They had better make sure it is heavily encrypted. I’d hate to have to teach them a lesson by going in there and adjusting the prices. You know, like Florida real estate has adjusted lately. I shall be examining these cookie things very closely as only I can.
           Later. It was a tough night in the trenches. Mark was in and neither of us sold a paying package. Feast or famine, but nobody likes famine for the first half of anything. Like life, for instance. I’ve always envied people who got such a head start in they could wait out in comfort and claim it was hard work that did them right. On the positive side, I’m bringing people to the brink much quicker although I did have one lady who wasted an entire hour before hanging up. An odd part of this job is dealing with so many people who are convinced all coupons are a scam. They are leery of even Fortune 500 companies [like this one].

           One thing I’ll say about this place, is the closers are really smooth. That is a compliment. Since it is a real product and the coupons represent a real discount, nobody has to lie. However, some people still need a little prodding to see the value. Myself, I would not have the patience [to close]. Or am I just saying that for now?
           I see the comment about products ballooning to 27 times their cost is a controversial point. Yet, I maintain it is a good rule of thumb, and I’ve likely described it before. Products in North American require three parties: the middleman and the two men required to create a middle. Normally, that is the producer and the retailer, each of whom charges three times his cost. Do the math, or since I think that phrase is horribly over-used, let me do the math for you. Production cost is $1, it sells for $3. Middleman buys for $3 and sells for $9. Retailer buys for $9 and sells for $27.
           True, it is an inefficient way to do business, but it was (past tense) the American way. Every little town had a hardware store where consumers paid through the teeth. But they also got service and personally knew the seller. The problem there is that this system is a fascinating big fat target for overseas sellers – they can’t scarce believe such huge mark-ups. They take away service from the uncomplaining masses and they can easily drag us all down. It is far too easy for them to take advantage of the complacent mass we’ve become.

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March 17, 2008

           Look who came bouncing back. Trader John’s, the granddaddy of all bookstores. He has re-opened less than a half-block from the shop. What’s that road parallel to Hollywood Blvd? Tyler. You know where Tyler jogs over to Polk westbound just past Dixie? There it is, the last shop in that little plaza where Subologist sandwhich used to be. Notice both these businesses have moved closer to us in the past few months. If a Starbucks opens next door, I’ll really smell a fish.
           Another day, another dollar. I’m making every predictable error, but those are part of the learning curve. Sales today were the equivalent of a fairly decent Florida job, so I kept at it without a break all shift. While it is still new, would you like to hear about the deadbeats that call up? Okay, first of all, I know you have a credit card because that is how we got your address, bub. I believe that you have spent every penny of credit you have, but don’t waste time saying you don’t have a credit card.
           Or the guy who gets his wife to call. We can hear you breathing. Yes, you got a free cruise. But that is it. If you want to spend $260 on a hotel room between the plane and boat schedules, go ahead. Because you get to do that all over again when the cruise returns. You’ll also truly enjoy walking in the Florida sunshine, since the only people who rely on taxis and busses in this town are those who’ve never relied on them before.
           You have a cousin in Tampa? Great, he wants to drop you off in Ft. Lauderdale and you can use the two ten-hour round trips to get re-acquainted some. Sure, he’d love to take a few days off and be your tour-guide. No, the coupon is not for a free cruise, because the cruise is already free. The coupon gives you a huge discount on the walls and wheels you’ll need to enjoy the cruise, and hopefully remain friends with your cousin. Be sure to invite him to stay with you the very next time he vacations in Lusk, Wyoming.
           Canada uses an identical credit card system. I’m also being reminded of the national culture of Canada, which I have not dealt with in years. The bottom line is Canadians believe as long as they are artificially polite about everything, you have to do things their way. In one of my semi-famous quotes, “Canadians tend to think if they are right and you are wrong, it somehow changes anything.”
           Cheer up, I like the work. It lets me spend my days in the shop, where today I managed to hack a sequence on Craigslist. If I didn’t mention, my ads for Jimbo’s have been flagged and the gang have all reported to me that it is a group called “King Jupiter” who is responsible. I cannot be sure but it is a fact King Jupiter’s ads are the only ones not being flagged. The hack is that I can now disable the flag feature.
           That is correct, my posts cannot be flagged except by someone with fairly advanced programming skills. I decline to say, but it is purely clever and probably too complicated for anyone around here to defeat. I’ll make you a deal. If anyone figures out how it is done the first three days, I’ll tell you. Longer than that, no deal. I’ve also noted that Craigslist left a back door open when it comes to Javascript. (For those who keep asking, it is impossible to trace flaggers simply because there is nothing to be traced – the flags don’t work on that principle.) But I might be able to pull a nasty on those who flag my ads in the near future.
           I don’t need to know who they are, just that they are really stupid. Put it this way. I was the guy who created that “All commands on this page have been disabled” fake post that caused every loser in this town to shit his own pants until enough of them figured out it how to get around it. Took the whole lot of them genius-boys over six hours to reverse what took me ten minutes to program. Yet some of them seem to be right back being jerks. Possibly they think I can’t sting them again, but they forget that is what hackers do. I don’t need a good reason to trip up people who get in my way. Ask the Hippie what I think of dumb people and their petty issues.
           I would say the intellectual accomplishment of the day is that I’ve discovered it is Javascript that creates and manipulates cookies. I further find it strange that in the dozen html manuals I’ve read (and these are 300 page tomes) that none of them mentioned the connection between cookies and Javascript. That’ll be another $100 please.
           As far as the anti-flagging trick, it is raw genius and child’s play to anyone who can think out of the box. That is also a clue. For the clueless. Another clue is that it works in two stages, which is only slightly over one stage beyond what most Floridians can handle.

March 16, 2008

           Wow, it is another Javascript book. Contain yourself, I’ll tell you all about it in a moment. This is life in the intellectual fast lane. I thumbed through these books long ago and didn’t care for the language, but something recently has my curiosity up. For example, I did not know that shopping carts are programmed in Javascript. (Their functionality is elsewhere, but the client-side work is Javascript. That will be $100 please.)
           Other than an unsuccessful foray to Panera this morning, I relaxed all day. The coffee shop was packed and they’ve removed the cash tin, where you could put in a buck-fifty and serve yourself (if all you wanted was a coffee). The wait for a chair was at least a half-hour, so I went to Starbucks. I admit it. Nothing to do Starbucks. Where it takes forever to get a coffee even if you are there alone. To make my morning, the new fancy kickstand on my bicycle is broken.

           Not as broken as that screwed up language, Javascript. Man, what an abortion of a concept that entire code turns out to be. Every command seems to have at least three exceptions, showing it has been tweaked and added to by every dork that came along. They appear too stupid to grasp that the language should operate the browser, not the other way around. I read the textbook and fully realized the author was not coming across with the goods. His examples needlessly complicate things and incorporate quirks that are buried deep in the text several pages back. No ice cream for that boy.
           Plus, Javascript was the exciting part of my day. This can happen when you live in South Florida and have a brain. That isn’t clear, let me put it another way. In this state, the entire entertainment industry is built around people who don’t have the brains to entertain themselves. Such people must hire prostitutes, drink, gamble or confuse relaxation with goofing off because they lack the skills to do anything else.

           I have to smile on that one, because I grew up around people who never pursued any long-term goals. How they would complain about being bored! How they laughed when I patiently did the two things allowed in our household (play piano and read encyclopedias after the old man passed out). When the weekends arrived, of course they had nothing to do. What the hell did they expect?
           One item I should also point out is that most men never learned how to chase women at a young age either, while fully admitting there were no good instruction manuals available. As they get older, their desperation increases, never having learned to walk before they could run. I thought I would point that out. Well, okay, there were manuals, but they must have been written by MicroSoft. You know, 700 pages on how a bra works, but not one example on how to go about removing the stupid thing.

           Allow me to sharpen the Javascript pencil. I wanted to learn how rollovers worked. These are those web pages with images that change when you roll your mouse over them, often changing back when you roll away. Here is a command that should take ten minutes to master, but they screwed it up so badly it took me three hours, which is a week in whiz kid hours. Don’t get me wrong, you can do it quickly by just following the examples; my goal was to understand the process. Now, I do understand it, and it stinks. Typical C+ scatterbrain drivel that passes as programming.
           I’ve stumbled across dozens of operations not described in the manual, and folks, this is how viruses get started. Nasty people notice that sometimes things don’t go as planned. A good example is the command which opens web pages. It you type things just right, it will also open all kinds of other things. I was examining how a rollover worked even when the mouse moved to another window (as opposed to just out of the image onto another area of the same page). Nobody is always very careful where they park the cursor when they just want it out of the way. There you go; I’m saying it wouldn’t take much at all to design something you would subconciously try to move your cursor away from, thus issuing a (mouse out) command. The ActiveX blocker gets in the way, but we’ll get you to disable that, as well.

           When I criticize these languages, remember that I have two (unused) programming degrees. I don’t mean to put anyone off. You are strongly encouraged to at least read over the same material. The interaction of the various languages is something not stressed enough in this age of specialization. Ask anyone who finally got a web page about how many “experts” they had to deal with along the way, each of whom truthfully claimed they could do the job for a suspiciously low price.
           To emphasize my point, I myself have been fooled by such false claims. We’ve all encountered on-line forms. It is insane, but when you first learn to design these forms, the form does nothing. It just sits there. Nobody told you that you had to use html for the form, javascript to validate the info, CGI/Perl scripts to act on the data, msSQL to interpret your query and PHP to process the request. That is a minimum of five programming languages you would have to master just to do a simple data lookup. And trust me, all this is just the thin outer layer of the undertaking.
           One last thing I can’t figure out. Nobody has ever improved the BASIC “for loop”. So why these goofs go about trying to get clever with their n++ crap is beyond me. Seem they all get too bored hanging around at Starbucks on weekends.

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March 15, 2008

           This is my Javascript book, by an author who feels self-famous enough to go by just his last name of “thau” (uncapitalized). To me, he is no more than another author of computer manuals who fails to double-check his own work. Dozens of his examples and directions have been corrupted by a spell-checker. The book has the fatal MS flaw – it has not been proofread at all beyond the first few chapters. More about it in a moment, but I finally tried to diagram the language, for example, group together text commands, or form commands. Impossible.
           I liked today. The morning was for study, mid-day at the shop with the laptops and the afternoon at the job. I didn’t sell anything but I learned a lot about the way they do business. I’m already beginning to dislike the Canadian callers, because they have that annoying characteristic of being artificially nice, like it fools anybody. You should not be calling about vacations in the USA when you don’t have $50 to your name. An American will tell you he’s broke; a Canadian will try to be nice about it and waste time.

           Generally, I like the work, but keep focused that this is not my new career. This type of occupation does not attract my peers and there are always difficulties with that [situation] in the long run. I am basically working to save enough money to move to Colorado, which means around $5,000. I could move any time, however, because I could dip into resources but I don’t care to do that.
           In response to those who could not answer the question about Johnny Cash’ middle name, I admit to having an advantage. When I asked the question, I already knew he didn’t have a middle name, or a first name for that matter. That is correct, Johnny Cash has no first name. Around the time he was born, it was customary to call children by initials. Similar to “J.D. Clampett”, he was born “J.R. Cash”. When he was inducted, the Army records must show a first name so somebody wrote in “John”.

           I’m learning a lot about laptops. They are a generation later than desktops and the components are of a more modern design. Also, they are built to be easily snapped and pinned together by unskilled labor. During the testing period, I was able to find more details about how older CD technology led to today’s standards. One thing I’ve noticed about the data disks I’m using more than then, there does not seem to be that much of a space savings between data video and MPEG video. That is, if I record a movie as a data disk, and the same movie as standard “movie” disk, they both play the same and occupy roughly the same amount of data space. Yet the MPEG is by far the more complicated and problematic format. It makes me suspicious why MPEG is the standard, and my guess is that it has totally to do with copy protection.
           Javascript. The new job has short breaks between callers that allow me to read. I now know far more about Javascript than usual. It uses retard counting. It breaks no new ground and has learned nothing from the mistakes of earlier languages. For example, it does not leave a space between text strings and actually makes most functions harder to use than the languages they stole them from. What? Okay, retard counting is where they start from zero instead of one. January is month zero, get it—retard counting, and if you owe me a hundred in twenties, you are welcome to use it. Absolutely the best way to prove you are overeducated and undersmart.

           [Author’s note: After some minor research, I see that for all the years I have referred to retard counting, this is the first [known] time I have written anything. So if I get famous for coining the term, good. It was retarded when it first came out and should have been corrected by 1965. All “new” languages of any worth should adopt conventional numbering from the get-go. And by default, leave a space between words unless commanded to do otherwise.]

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